Just a bit isolated

  I feel completely alone tonight, not wanting to realize what my life has become, existing with someone who now hates me mostly, not even friends much less anything else, I have wanted to feel wanted and loved for so long, and pieces I did have of this have left now for months, I have to make myself go back to the gym tomorrow, I am tired of being miserable, tired of being lonely, just to sit and watch tv much less cuddle to sleep, not have sex, to bond and make love to one that loves me, not that tries to love me and has told me that they did for years, makes you feel useless and worthless and not even alive, I have to find life from this, I have to get out of the area I am in, I won't drink it away, I do start a divorce class tomorrow night, have met a couple people that talk to me, I am tired of feeling alone and know I have isolated myself, all I ever wanted was my family, alll I ever wanted was to feel truly, deeply, passionately, breathtakingly, butterfly loved, my marriage never was this, it makes me groan from my soul, I pray God let me find peace in myself, and that someone would truly value and want me one day.