Just sad

It's been a rough week at work.  Christmas is always so hard, being in retail.  I'm a bakery manager, and the hours just get longer and longer.  I work more hours than any of the other managers, but what do I have to look forward to at home?  One of my workers called off, earlier in the week and it's hard to catch up, when you are already behind.  They have been remodeling also, and that put me behind also.  The owner is very happy with my work, but the manager is a young hyper nervous guy, that hovers around wanting more.  He always says, things look good by the end of the day, but he gets on my nerves sometimes.
I came home and for a split second thought my husband was home waiting for me.  That's when the saddness started.  I started reading some of the posts and I think I got more depressed.  On the way home I stopped and bought a silly Christmas hat and was actually singing along with a Christmas song.  I used to sing along with all the songs, but my heart hasn't been into it lately.
It only takes a second for all the memories to flood back.  To miss him, to want him, to make all this pain go away.
Going to bed, long day tomorrow.
Paula
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

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deleted_user
deleted_user

its the memories that hit hard, as good as they are, they just make you realise what you don\'t have any more and that nothing can give you back what you had. I keep telling myself that Christmas is just another day and i miss Dennis every day and my brain will pretend he is at work as there were so many times i did things alone because he was working. Guess its all part of knowing he isn\'t coming home but not beleiving it. hope your feeling better in the morning. Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user

When the music first started playing this Christmas season, I didn\'t want to hear it, much less sing to it. Then, for some reason one day, I just really enjoyed it. Listened to it all day long and sang along to most of it. Now, tomorrow may be a whole different story. We just have to grab on to those moments and sing along when the mood lets us.
hugs
Angie
tdarlene
tdarlene

My Donnie and I used to put a message on the phone recorder, with Christmas music in the background. We had such a fun time trying to get it right!! laughing and being so silly!! We miss all that, don\'t we. Hugs, Darlene
missingmyabby
missingmyabby

I hope you sing along more often and get along better and better. Nothing can change what is but we can change what will be. Don\'t work to much, you can miss out on everything else.
Ken
lindanne
lindanne

Sometimes it is just plain hard and seems to be getting harder. Then I have a glimpse of a great memory and it makes me smile. I hope that happens for you today and every day.
Community Leadermarjoe
marjoe

Paula - got to love those bakers\' hours, huh? Same here. The memories seem to flood back when I\'m kneading the dough - go figure. Joe was the baker at our deli. Now it\'s me. Try to make your home a place of comfort for you, rather than a place you dread. It does help. Hang in -