June

OMG this month has been exciting!! I have placed an text message in Discord and here is what I wrote.

Most of my life I have been nothing but a flightier, ever since I have transitioned I have fought for myself and I am stepping away from being in the shadows of my former self. Being Danielle I have found such peace in my life without regrets and a whole new self preservation that I wouldn't never dreamed about doing back in the time. I was afraid to step in the unknown just gathering research and failing to take risks. Now being Danielle I have accomplished a lot in 4 years , HRT, Name change, changing documents, Therapy which I will not stop as it helps me understand the changes in my life, Having bottom surgery, stepping away from the shadows of being Daniel changing jobs thinking and being more like Danielle. Today I see myself as a whole new person and looking at a whole new surrounding and world. I am working now at Walmart to see if they have Trans Health Care if they do I am thinking about leaving Arby's but don't get me wrong they people are wonderful to work with but the Health Care that I need is imperative to fix a problem and now I have taken a risk of becoming a fashion model and to my surprise I am succeeding in that as well. I just landed a spot with a modeling show for Amazon Prime modeling off their latest fashions. The show is slated for July 8th waiting for location and time. I am so overwhelmed with joy that I don't know what to do with it. I am excited about it and looking forward in exploring the unknown. Being a Trans it opens up to different opportunities and if it can work for me it sure can work for you. Go For It !! venture the unknown, you will never know the outcome if you don't try. In the Star Trek VI film the " Undiscovered Country"  We are all exploring it and learning the outcome of our adventures. Just as I am! I will say " walk the walk, keep your head up high and most of all BE PROUD"

I often sit down and wonder what my life would be like if I staid with her but I wouldn't know what it would be like. Ever since I transitioned I have accomplished a lot things than when I was Daniel. Danielle has spread her wings out. As I mentioned earlier in this journal I have accomplish many things that when I was Daniel I felt that I he did not accomplish anything except for getting married and having kids that to this very day they will not recognize Daniel as Danielle. She is the same person when merle married me in the first place and I will say that I never knew that I was a trans, but the signs were there that others knew as I was oblivious to it in nature. I love my kids and my wife very even though they don't love for who I am, I have changed on the inside as I am still Daniel, I just changed my outside appearance. I am not going to change as I am happy for everything I have done, I won't say that its been easy but I am managing. There are many nights that all I do is cry. Wondering how my family is doing how my grandson is and my daughters and 3 sons. I wonder since I don't hear from them at all.

But as for now I must direct my attention towards the fashion show slated for July 8th as I need to practice my turns in heels and remember what to do when working with another model and to remember our choreography. I hope to achieve it and retain it.