June 15, 2023

Here i am back again.  Out of the hospital for the 4th day. Eliquis, my blood thinner med caused my hemorrhoids to bleed to the point that i lost 2 pints of blood. I was rushed to the hospital and given a transfusion, GI scope and colonoscopy.  Fact is..i have bad hemorrhoids.  Another fact is..i have no support system. I live alone and have no one to help me.  So..now i'm needing this awful surgery for the h's with no one to even take me to the appointment to see the dr..which is 50 miles away from where i live.  While i was in the hospital (for 4 days) i never got the meds i take daily...so my anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, etc etc..were stopped. I am now so depressed i can't see straight from all this new "news" and lack of medication. I still have the blood clots on my lungs so i need the blood thinner. My doc and i decided today that i am to start the 80 mg. aspirin in time realease instead of the Eliquis. Also starting Slow Fe Iron. He told me i was going to HAVE to see a "Gastro" dr. for follow up..whether i wanted to or not..and get the surgery..i guess a magic fairy is going to appear and assist me to the dr./hospital..and stay with me during recovery, which btw i know is horrible for this surgery.  Today is the 3rd year anniversary of the day my beloved Whisper cat crossed the Rainbow bridge. I am crushed about this as well. Meanwhile..i had diahrea the whole time i've been home from the hospital until yesterday. Nurse said i could take Pepto Bismol and yes i was already bleeding again but not bad. Pepto worked. No diahrea or bleeding today. I could use all the prayers, good thoughts, vibes, and anything else anyone has to offer. All i really want is to go to heaven and be with my deceased part of 18 years that left me 3 years ago in January. I still morn the loss of her daily. Not a night goes by that i don't cry. Sorry this is such a downer...I just had to talk to someone..and since i have no one...it landed here. Thank you for listening.