July Entry!
It's been a good while since I have wrote in my journal and although I have been soul searching and trying to find the meaning of life etc.. I think a book I am reading called "A purpose driving life" by Rick Warren, has really gave me some insight on it. I am a devoted christian and try to live up to it , to the best of my ability. I may slide every now and then but nobody is perfect. I have been trying to be as christ like as possible, but it's tought when you have friends that are not good examples. Everyone says "GET NEW FRIENDS" thats so tough when you live in a remote country area and you have a disorder like this one. I have been able to stay away from a lot of stuff previously I would do such as illiciet drugs, sex, swearing a lot, etc... I think I have improved by at least 90% I still ask for God's forgiveness every day. I am very skeptical about what god thinks about taking these drugs but it's the only way I am able to function with my family and be able to think straight so I can do normal things. I wish I could go all natural so bad, but I have tried and it feels like my brain is shrinking every time. Currentlyl I am on abilify and also lamictal. I have been taking the benzo Klonapin and it has been doing well also. My only thing is that the abilify is making me drozy during the day and I need to start getting some exercise. I get a surge of energy in the morning when I take my lamictal so I need to capitolize on that get my lazy but up and start working out more. Well I have to say I am proud of myself and my life is doing much better than it was last year at this time. I mean I still have problems , but don't we all? If your reading this I hope your having a good day. Peace Nick
Replies
well done in your achievements to date nick
Nick, do not think that God would judge you harshly for taking the meds you need. We may be created in his likeness but none of us are perfect beings. Perhaps God has allowed for the medical breakthroughs that have created the meds needed for us to live a better life.
Take care
PEACE
Daniel
Please don\'t think God is angry for you tryng to have control through medications of a biological disease which is centered in your brain. It may affect your actions, judgment and behavior - but it doesn\'t touch your soul. God has been so gracious to me, helping me get off all of the meds for bp, by helping me understand my triggers and giving me a wonderful family, but I still am totally dependent upon my Rheumatoid Arthritis drugs to even get out of bed, or the pain is so bad. Do you think God would judge me harshly for wanting to live a physically productive life, and contribute to my family, home and church? I don\'t. Mental illness is no different. It is not a choice, it is a disease. God delivers and frees us from the power of sin - like drugs and alcohol - I haven\'t touch a drink in 29 years now. But being sick is a result of living in a fallen world. Don\'t stigmatize yourself. Take it a day at a time, and forgive yourself for having the wrong genetics/environment or whatever. God loves you the way you are.
I begged God for years to deliver me from bipolar disorder. He finally gave me an answer. He said, \"NO!\" When I cried out why? He answered that mania is joy gone wild. Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. If you add the other fruits to your life - peace, self-control, kindness, gentleness, patience etc., you will be a strong Christian, overflowing with love and God\'s grace. I was always in the closet, ashamed of being MI, now I know God has a reason, a purpose and a plan. Doesn\'t mean I don\'t have to fight - but God has given me his armour in Ephesians 6, and each day I learn and grow. My final hope is after the resurrection I will be transformed into His image (Romans 12:1-2) Til then, I see but through a glass darkly. (1 Cor 13:13) and wait for the day I see him face to face. (1John 3:2). Sorry for preaching. God loves you!