July Entry!

It's been a good while since I have wrote in my journal and although I have been soul searching and trying to find the meaning of life etc.. I think a book I am reading called "A purpose driving life" by Rick Warren, has really gave me some insight on it.  I am a devoted christian and try to live up to it , to the best of my ability.  I may slide every now and then but nobody is perfect. I have been trying to be as christ like as possible, but it's tought when you have friends that are not good examples. Everyone says "GET NEW FRIENDS" thats so tough when you live in a remote country area and you have a disorder like this one.  I have been able to stay away from a lot of stuff previously I would do such as illiciet drugs, sex, swearing a lot, etc...  I think I have improved by at least 90% I still ask for God's forgiveness every day.  I am very skeptical about what god thinks about taking these drugs but it's the only way I am able to function with my family and be able to think straight so I can do normal things.  I wish I could go all natural so bad, but I have tried and it feels like my brain is shrinking every time. Currentlyl I am on abilify and also lamictal.  I have been taking the benzo Klonapin and it has been doing well also. My only thing is that the abilify is making me drozy during the day and I need to start getting some exercise. I get a surge of energy in the morning when I take my lamictal so I need to capitolize on that get my lazy but up and start working out more.  Well I have to say I am proud of myself and my life is doing much better than it was last year at this time.  I mean I still have problems , but don't we all?  If your reading this I hope your having a good day. Peace Nick