July 7, 2015

Today I am feeling a lot better than yesterday. yesterday was hard for me. I think about our future and I feel its soo empty. Empty without Phillip. I feel robbed. Robbed of the life that I was suppose to have with my husband. Its soo unfair. Unfair that Paige will grow up not truly knowing her Dad. That breaks my heart. Everyone tells me that they are here for me and that I can count on them, but they all really have no fucking clue exactly how I feel. Its soo different then loosing your mom or your dad. Your whole life doesn't change when you loose one of them. when you loose one of them, you go on being sad, but you still go on. When you loose a spouse its way different. Sometime I wish someone else's spouse would die just so they know how I feel...