July 4th - Oct 3rd 2015 means 3 MONTHS, 92 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

This is the first time since I started gambling years ago, through trying to quit time and time again, that I can finally say it has been 3 MONTHS since I last gambled! It is a day by day struggle, but to look back at the 3 months, to see what in JUST 3 months I have accomplished, paid off, or caught up on...and how much better I feel emotionally...life is good.  Researching, reading, talking, watching for all the signs of relapse and finding a way to stop the urges from controlling my actions, learning to cope with things in a healthy way will all continue so hopefully in a month I can say it has been 4 months! I was so numb to life.  I thought gambling was my escape from life stress, but it WAS my life stress, causing me to lie, cheat, and lie more.  Financial problems would NEVER had existed in my life had I not become addicted to gambling.  I slowly feel the numbness lifting, I can feel joy, I have renewed ambition, goals... I don't want to ever go back to where I was.  I'm going to try to keep journaling here, and reading my old journals so I can remember where I was, and how good it feels to now be here. My family has noticed how much happier I am, the new drive I have to accomplish things, and in their minds it is due to a surgery I had, that now that I am recovered from I feel so much better. I'm letting them think that, but I know what REALLY is the case. Our time together as a family is so much better, that it just makes me want to continue doing what I am doing, being good. Maybe it took having a surgery and feeling better after that to give me the extra strength I needed to fight, only God really knows, I know I am thankful to Him, and while my addicted brain says "hey, go celebrate by playing some slots" my newly found inner voice says "good job, keep up the great work, your happier without it."