July 21, 2015
Well, I was up all night, with the fact that I am back on the fentanyl patch, it causes insomnia. I don;t mind, I had a lot of creative time. And I napped all morning.
Mom was supposed to go to the pain doctor today, but the caregiver was never properly scheduled, so we had to reschedule it. Good thing, poor Mom is worn out from her antibiotics, which end tonight. She was recently sick in the hospital with diverticulosis, and has barely been eating. But the nurse in me is ministering to her needs.
I love my parents so very much, I really feel that I would just about do anything for them to help them, unless it would put me or my health in jeopardy. I have to remember the oxygen mask rule: In a plane, when you are caring for others and the oxygen masks come down, put your own on first, so that then you can help others. If you don't help yourself first you are no good to anybody. So now I am in the process of putting myself first again. Little by little, I am going to re-initiate my goals. I was so far from working on my goals for so long that they seem almost foreign to me right now. I was so preoccupied with caregiving I lost myself. When I wasn't helping my parents I would space out in front of the tv, just staring at it for hours and hours.
Well no more of that.
I have six months sober today and this to me is a signal that it is time to begin a program of working on making my world better. I have a counselor coming to the house Thursday to see me, covered by my insurance, arranged by the hospital. Isn't that cool? I don't have to worry about getting a caregiver or anything!
It is time to work on my goals and objectives and MY plans. Time to invest in myself instead of vegging out in front of the television. I feel motivated to make some changes, and I know it is going to take time, but I feel forward motion happening here.
Ayla
Mom was supposed to go to the pain doctor today, but the caregiver was never properly scheduled, so we had to reschedule it. Good thing, poor Mom is worn out from her antibiotics, which end tonight. She was recently sick in the hospital with diverticulosis, and has barely been eating. But the nurse in me is ministering to her needs.
I love my parents so very much, I really feel that I would just about do anything for them to help them, unless it would put me or my health in jeopardy. I have to remember the oxygen mask rule: In a plane, when you are caring for others and the oxygen masks come down, put your own on first, so that then you can help others. If you don't help yourself first you are no good to anybody. So now I am in the process of putting myself first again. Little by little, I am going to re-initiate my goals. I was so far from working on my goals for so long that they seem almost foreign to me right now. I was so preoccupied with caregiving I lost myself. When I wasn't helping my parents I would space out in front of the tv, just staring at it for hours and hours.
Well no more of that.
I have six months sober today and this to me is a signal that it is time to begin a program of working on making my world better. I have a counselor coming to the house Thursday to see me, covered by my insurance, arranged by the hospital. Isn't that cool? I don't have to worry about getting a caregiver or anything!
It is time to work on my goals and objectives and MY plans. Time to invest in myself instead of vegging out in front of the television. I feel motivated to make some changes, and I know it is going to take time, but I feel forward motion happening here.
Ayla
Replies
Hugs. You know I\'m here for you!
I have a whole new respect for care-givers now. My dad fell ill with cancer several months ago and it\'s too far gone to do anything now. It is a rare cancer and he has went down quick. It has been rough. We have hospice care now and that helps a lot. Thanks for the reminder to take care of myself first. I really needed to hear that. Welcome back Ayla!