July 2021

July 2021has ended, pretty much nothing has changed but the concerns are still there. Another month went by as I have not seen my boys since may. Every time I try to come up she gives me the excuse that Katlin was going to be there and it was not advisable for me to come up but for the whole month?? I really don't care, I feel that she should get beyond her self about what happen, I don't know what happen as I have many times tried to recall with no luck in remembering what I did to her.

I know that I am fighting depression and I am just trying to hide it. Along with depression I am also fighting loneliness, I want to find someone that is sincere. Maybe I should just give up or just start dating guys ewe!! No way I can do that or want to do that.

I started looking into going scuba diving and to my disappointment PADi did not have a record of me so now I have to come up the full price of the course and additional equipment just going scuba diving which will include a BCD, tank and regulator I have already spent 300 for the basic gear, now another 300 for a wet suit and maybe I can get away with getting a wet skin so it will be easy to put on the wetsuit I think it is worth a shot.

This month I have two doctors appointment on the 9th of august I have to see my clinic doctor to find out where my hormone levels are at and take it from there, if they are still low Dr. Pri will up my dosage of estradiol to 6mg and start me on taking a testosterone gel to balance out my testosterone levels as well. Will see what happens. Also on August 24 I will see Dr. Douglas about the revised surgical procedure to keep my urine out of my vagina. I am still deciding to weather or not to have my vagina penetration straight forward and have my clit protrude out a little or leave well enough alone. I just don't know what to do but I still have some time left to figure out what I want to do. Now for the breast augmentation I think I am going to hold off on it or when I see Dr. Pri I am going to ask her about it either to get it done or wait till my breasts stop hurting???

Another thing I have to seriously think about doing the class or wait till next year to get it and give me a little more time to gather the funds.

My journey 

It has been 2years 3 months 11days since I left home

It has been 2years and 0 months on H.R.t

It has been 9 months and 0 days since my surgery.