July 5

   Went to church, dropped his Mustang off at the parsonage.  Our pastor is in need of a car for a month while the transmission is fixed/replaced in h is car.  So I suggested we loan one of ours; his Mustang, my Focus, and his truck.  I was so embarrassed because when he gave our pastor the keys he mentioned an oil change was in need.  Ugh.  Of course he said 'no problem, I can get that done.'   Talk about dropping a hint!  I don't dare to tell him how I thought that went down.  Anyway, we went to the pharmacy to pick up some hair and nail stuff, and milk.  He said he would drop me off while he went to the grocery store; I told him there was milk at the store I was going to; he said nothing and dropped me off.  He picked me up and I told him indeed there was milk at about the same price he probably spent.  He said nothing.  So,  he asked me send a text to his son whose name begins with a 'W' .  As I scrolled I saw a name of an old girl friend 'W' of whom I thought he erased 2 years ago.  Of course I said, 'you still have her name in your phone?  I thought you got rid of it.'  He told me to erase it but told him it wasn't my place.  I told him I wanted to tell him how I feel about all this, he begrudgingly said fine go ahead.  I told him I thought he erased it 2 years ago and there was no need to have it; he said you're right she got married yesterday.  They're friends on FB, apparently.  WOW! I didn't anything else.  He told me all I do is nag and bitch.  I told him to pull over so I could get out of the car, I couldn't stand to be in his presence. I threw the phone at him.  He didn't pull over, we went home.  We made ourselves lunch, I went out to the back yard.  He was going to his son's house and asked if I was going.  I told him 'I hadn't planned on it, so no I'm not going'.  I don't know what to do.  I feel like he's wearing away at me little by little every day.