Journey Through Adultery - 9-23-11
I see it has been nearly two months since I posted the last entry. Right around the time I lost my job, so I guess that has been the focus of things these past couple of months. Still haven't found a job yet, but I keep putting in aps in the hopes I'll "catch a fish."
As far as healing from the affair is going, not much has changed. We are moving forward. Every once in a while the feelings of insecurity rise up in me, but overall I'm doing well.
My W is struggling a bit, due to two things. One, she has been dealing with the guilt of what she's done for several weeks now. She has better days and worse, but she seems to cry at some point most days. I'm glad she is dealing with the reality of what she's done to the marriage and me, but I don't want her to get mired in guilt either, and just stay there. I'm hoping as time goes by, that she'll be able to focus on the future and making that right rather than focusing on the past that she can't change.
But that has been compounded by recent attempts of the OM to make some level of contact with her. She has reported all those to me each time they have happened. It makes her very nervous and scared to go clean the house in his neighborhood. So I sent him an email last night that we worked on together, telling him to stop and if any further attempts at contact happen, we'll get a restraining order on him. He wrote back today saying he is "over her" (which I don't buy) and that he will not even wave if he happens to see her, and will just move on and not engage her. Let's pray he keeps his word on that.
So my wife today had a very hard day, in part because of the attempt of the OM to wave at her as their cars passed, and he intentionally arranged for that to happen this past Wednesday. She has cried all day nearly. I hope the OM keeps his promise, because it really affects my wife when he does this.
But, all in all, we are still making good progress. I'm excited about our future together and we're closer than we've ever been at 4.5 months past dday.
As far as healing from the affair is going, not much has changed. We are moving forward. Every once in a while the feelings of insecurity rise up in me, but overall I'm doing well.
My W is struggling a bit, due to two things. One, she has been dealing with the guilt of what she's done for several weeks now. She has better days and worse, but she seems to cry at some point most days. I'm glad she is dealing with the reality of what she's done to the marriage and me, but I don't want her to get mired in guilt either, and just stay there. I'm hoping as time goes by, that she'll be able to focus on the future and making that right rather than focusing on the past that she can't change.
But that has been compounded by recent attempts of the OM to make some level of contact with her. She has reported all those to me each time they have happened. It makes her very nervous and scared to go clean the house in his neighborhood. So I sent him an email last night that we worked on together, telling him to stop and if any further attempts at contact happen, we'll get a restraining order on him. He wrote back today saying he is "over her" (which I don't buy) and that he will not even wave if he happens to see her, and will just move on and not engage her. Let's pray he keeps his word on that.
So my wife today had a very hard day, in part because of the attempt of the OM to wave at her as their cars passed, and he intentionally arranged for that to happen this past Wednesday. She has cried all day nearly. I hope the OM keeps his promise, because it really affects my wife when he does this.
But, all in all, we are still making good progress. I'm excited about our future together and we're closer than we've ever been at 4.5 months past dday.
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