Journey Through Adultery - 7-27-11

Today we finished up the eradication of connections. And she has even gone further than I thought.
She'd deleted the pictures of the first man and the second man everywhere except there is this one picture of the first man that she really liked. She still had that one to delete from the computer. She'd deleted it from her phone, her email folders, and cleaned it all out, except for this one last picture on the computer.
We talked about it while we swam at the gym and soaked in the hot tub. When she went into the gym, she was struggling a bit, I think because for whatever reason, she always liked that picture of him and hated to get rid of it. But by the time we left the gym, she said it really doesn't mean that much to her, and she knows I want it gone, and she was eager to get home and delete it. Then she started deciding to do more.
Back shortly after the first man left town, she wanted to find him. So she paid $3.00 for one of those online searches for info on people a month or so after he left. It revealed the towns where he lived and his relatives, birthday, etc. Back on dday or shortly thereafter, she had told me all this, but she never told me what she did with the info, and I guess I never asked. As it turns out, she'd written it on a piece of paper which she carried around in her purse.
She told me about that, and she wanted to get rid of it. Then she said the only reason she signed up for MySpace was because that first man was on it, and she hoped if he ever wanted to find her, he could find her through that. She had defriended him the other day, but she could still go look at his profile if she wanted, and potentially communicate. And though he has taken pains to provide no way for her to contact him when he left, if he ever did want to find her, he could look her up on MySpace. So she decided to tell the two actual friends she has on MySpace to friend her on Facebook, and then she's going to cancel that account. She decided that one on her own.
She went through her email list and phone list and deleted any phone numbers or email addresses she had for any of the various people she met during her affairs.
When we sat at the computer and clicked to delete this last picture of the first man she had, she paused a minute, then deleted him. That was the last "connection" to that period of her life in concrete form.
So house cleaning in the dangling threads of no contact finished. I'm glad she came to this point, and wanted to do this for our marriage and its continued healing.