Journey Through Adultery - 5-25-11
Today marked the 2 week anniversary of dday. I'm not sure if that is the reason or what, but so far the two Wednesday's since dday have been the hardest days at work. Last Wednesday I left work after being there for an hour, because I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
Today, I couldn't attribute it to any one particular event. I simply found myself feeling depressed and having a very hard time focusing on work. My breathing felt shallow. Pretty much like it has been most days since dday, but somewhat worse today.
Our therapist said for me watch for any signs of depression. I'm pretty sure I'm in one. Don't see how I can't be. But not a depression that is making me think crazy thoughts.
But as the day went on, I became better. Felt much better when I could come home. Then wife and I went to work out and get a soda. She indicated that she felt much more "normal" than she's been in months, tonight.
I don't think I can say I'm feeling normal. I fear what years off my life this is ripping from me due to the stress.
But I worry about my work. While I'm getting some things done, I feel like I'm having to force myself to stop staring at the screen and thinking about all this.
But, by end of day, feeling better. That's the pattern in most cases it seems. Beginning of day and work is dreadful. Then the day gets better as we go along.
Today, I couldn't attribute it to any one particular event. I simply found myself feeling depressed and having a very hard time focusing on work. My breathing felt shallow. Pretty much like it has been most days since dday, but somewhat worse today.
Our therapist said for me watch for any signs of depression. I'm pretty sure I'm in one. Don't see how I can't be. But not a depression that is making me think crazy thoughts.
But as the day went on, I became better. Felt much better when I could come home. Then wife and I went to work out and get a soda. She indicated that she felt much more "normal" than she's been in months, tonight.
I don't think I can say I'm feeling normal. I fear what years off my life this is ripping from me due to the stress.
But I worry about my work. While I'm getting some things done, I feel like I'm having to force myself to stop staring at the screen and thinking about all this.
But, by end of day, feeling better. That's the pattern in most cases it seems. Beginning of day and work is dreadful. Then the day gets better as we go along.
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