Journal Entry for July 12, 2013
"drinking my self to sleep tonight depression sucks"
21 Like 0 Comments
I see these types of posts daily on facebook. Maybe they're true, depression does suck and it feels like it's wearing me down each and every day. Some people though, I feel as if they just post things like this for likes and it's really insulting. Depression isn't something you deal with for a night and your wake up with a small hangover and you're fine, at least that's not how it happens for me. Depression literally attacks me for days, berating everything I do, or don't do and is constantly reminding me that hey, maybe life would be easier if I didn't have to wake up. A beer isn't going to solve your problems, and if you're really depressed, didn't you know that alcohol is a depressant?
Maybe I'm just complaining to complain. I'm just tired of everyone making depression into something it's not. It's not a "I'm feeling sad" word. It's not a "Whoa, no one's here I'm alone for a few hours" word. It's a mental illness that literally cripples people, and in today's society it feels almost like if we aren't making fun of it, we're making it such an awkward and weird conversation that it makes it nearly embarrassing to deal with -- Even though my Dad has depression too, I felt really ashamed and wanted to hide it from everyone. It's almost become taboo.
In other news, I have less than a month before I have to start paying back student loans and I still have no job. Wonderful, right? But I'm oddly, strangely okay with the situation. I used to really stress out about it, but I almost have this sense of contentment. I don't know. Maybe something with turn up last minute and save me. Here's to positive thanking, for what it's worth.
21 Like 0 Comments
I see these types of posts daily on facebook. Maybe they're true, depression does suck and it feels like it's wearing me down each and every day. Some people though, I feel as if they just post things like this for likes and it's really insulting. Depression isn't something you deal with for a night and your wake up with a small hangover and you're fine, at least that's not how it happens for me. Depression literally attacks me for days, berating everything I do, or don't do and is constantly reminding me that hey, maybe life would be easier if I didn't have to wake up. A beer isn't going to solve your problems, and if you're really depressed, didn't you know that alcohol is a depressant?
Maybe I'm just complaining to complain. I'm just tired of everyone making depression into something it's not. It's not a "I'm feeling sad" word. It's not a "Whoa, no one's here I'm alone for a few hours" word. It's a mental illness that literally cripples people, and in today's society it feels almost like if we aren't making fun of it, we're making it such an awkward and weird conversation that it makes it nearly embarrassing to deal with -- Even though my Dad has depression too, I felt really ashamed and wanted to hide it from everyone. It's almost become taboo.
In other news, I have less than a month before I have to start paying back student loans and I still have no job. Wonderful, right? But I'm oddly, strangely okay with the situation. I used to really stress out about it, but I almost have this sense of contentment. I don't know. Maybe something with turn up last minute and save me. Here's to positive thanking, for what it's worth.
Replies