journal entry

my journal is in the car so I will jot down my thoughts here. I had a good day. I am truly committed to getting this right but know it is not over. The ingrained tendency to lie and exaggerate is deep in me from years of this behavior. I understand it serves me no purpose and I need to let it go. So many emotions I deal with. Abandonment, self pity, fear of being alone. codependency. Now that I am doing this work and recognizing some origins it is easier to let go. I am not scared so much if I cannot be with Sarah. I can have time for myself and to do the work I need to do alone. I am tired and hence will cut this entry short. I need to investigate codependency. It is interesting in that I thought of myself as independent and self sufficient for so long. I am successful and talented. Why do I feel so inadequate? Where is that disconnect. I am becoming less afraid of fighting the dragon no matter what the consequences. I may end up thrown from the horse with an ax in my heart but I faced the beast and battle with bravery and gusto.