jokes

Hi, tell me what you think of these jokes...... 3 kids go to play. Jonny is White, julie is also White and James is black. the teacher calls out 'i will ask you each a question after lunch. If you get it right you can go home early.'At the end of lunch the teacher asks jonny 'what did you do at lunch?' He replies 'i played in the sand.' the teacher said 'spell sand' and he did then the teacher asked julie and she said 'i played with jonny' so the teacher told her to spell friends and she did then she asked james and he replies 'i tried to play with jonny and julie but they didnt let me' the teacher says 'spell racial discrimination.' Here's another: A few overworked deputy sheriffs deserved a vacation, so together they decided to go on a mountain retreat. Since police officers are so underpaid, they decided to sleep two per room so they could afford the trip.Now, nobody wanted to sleep in the same room with Daryl - he’s got a well known reputation for snoring and since it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, they voted to take turns.The first deputy to bunk with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot, looking like he didnt get any sleep. They said, “Man, what happened to you?” He said, “Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night, couldn’t get any sleep.”The following night it was a different deputy’s turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all messed up, eyes blood-shot, etc. They said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!” He said, “Man, that Daryl! Shakes the roof he’s so loud. I watched him all night.”The third night was Frank’s turn. Now Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man’s man. He said he wasn’t gonna put up with any snoring… “We’ll see!” said the other debuties. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. “Good morning, wonderful day outside isn’t it?” he said.They couldn’t believe it! They said, “Man, what happened?” He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went over and tucked Daryl into bed, then kissed him good night. He sat up all night just watching me. Didn’t snore a bit, hehe.” One more;A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?”“I was swept overboard during a fierce storm,” says the pirate. “and a bloody shark bit off me whole darn leg!”“Holy cow!” said the sailor. “What about the hook, how’d you get that?”“Me crew and I were boarding an enemy ship, a fierce sword battle ensued. One of them cut me darn arm!”“Absolutely incredible!” gasped the sailor. “And the eye patch, tell me how you got that?”“A bloody seagull dropping fell into me eye,” replied the pirate.“Umm, you lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” asked the sailor, admonished.Embarassed, the pirate answered “It was me first day with the hook.”