Joey Is Gone...

I got a text from my cousin yesterday at work.  (I beiieve  she is chosing to text me at this time because she is having a harder time actually talking with people)  Her son Joey passed away Wednesday night.He was born healthy, but his entire life would change in an instant.

  As I have been looking closer into our family dynamics... tracing back the dysfunction, I have found all the women focused on others to forget about their own unhappiness and lack of affection .  My mom and aunt would spend all their time and energy caring for alcoholic husbands and kids (half of which would also grow to have problems because of this)  My cousin would grow to do the same.

She would help to care for a younger sister who (against the odds) did live to become an LPN and did touch many lives before her health deteriorated in her late 20s and she died at 30.  This same cousin would pick up and play mediator between her mom and dad as they "existed" in later years on separate floors of their home. Then she would take in my aunt with  her health problems in an attached appt for her. (while she began to care for Joey as his problems grew.)  

While I do wonder why things happen (They say God doesn't give us more than we can handle, it takes awhile to understand) but in this case... these two women would be there to love and support each other when the going got tough. Actually my cousin that died of juvenile diabetes (Candy) and Vickie (and my aunt) would be a Godsend to me after my mom died.  Left alone at 15 with an alcoholic and absent father and younger brother who would quickly follow in his footsteps.... my life was very empty and depressing. They would get me out of the house to spend some time hanging out and doing some "normal " things.   (a movie, hanging out at the mall, grabbing something to eat)   From these 3 I would find  humor to cope and deal with what we were dealt.  (Yep, that is where I got it.  lol)

As a little boy, Joey was cut off from the world because he could not hear (his own brother and father never really learned to sign to connect with him either) His mom and  grandma would become the center of his existence and communication.  When I did visit, he was always so happy and excited... full of love and hugs and took great joy in spelling out names to let us know he knew and could understand who we were. As he grew older and bigger it was harder for her to handle when he would have more frequent seizures.  But she continued and never did give in to put him away in a facility until these last few months he was hospitalized.   

I pray he may now be at peace... no more pain and isolation.And that my cousin may finally find peace herself and that maybe God can finally remind her that she too deserves to feel loved and appreciated...( and that her husband and other son do FINALLY step up and begin to repay her for all she has given all of them)  My heart goes out to all of them.