Jingle Bells, Batman smells..
Robin laid an eggg, batmobile lost his wheels, and Joker ran away! =) Do you remember that parody song? I remember when I was little my friends and I use to sing it in class and the teacher would get so mad at us. Good ol' memories! Haha.
All over the news is that insanity that happened up in CT. I try to stay away from watching it because it devastates me. Those poor babies, and the teachers who lost their lives protecting them. It breaks my heart over and over again. Honestly, where is this world coming to? =(
My best friend, (tbh my only true friend) was planning on coming to my house for Christmas. We were joking around about spending the holidays alone and not caring like it's just another day (He lives deep in Manhattan) then he decided he would come. Our plan was to buy a shitload of wine, get wrecked, and celebrate being awesome. Lol! I was down! The holidays were starting to look up for me! At least for one day!
Well, he's not coming anymore. We spoke last night and he's concerned about taking the train on a holiday since he has never done that before. I understood. I wouldn't want to travel via train or bus on a holiday. Especially with the madness that is New York City.
So back to square one and my original plan. A extra large bottle of wine, and me all by my lonesome. I have accepted it. I am finally okay with it. I mean, it's an advantage right? I can play the music I want to listen to. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to deal with sloppy drunk people annoying me. The drunken insults and drama. Just me, and my music. Might actually be peaceful. I am still wearing my little black dress, candy cane stockings, and my Santa hat. At least that plan can never change! =)
All jokes aside I am grateful to still be alive to celebrate the holidays even if I spend it with myself. There are so many people right now especially with this tragedy that are going to spend their holidays heartbroken and grieving. My heart goes out to them all. Instead of complaining about not having anyone special to spend the holidays with I will be thankful for what I DO have. And I have a LOT to be thankful for.
I may not have the friends I want, and the man my heart needs but that's okay. I am only going to be 25. I have so much time to find the right ones or actually, better yet, let them find me! What's meant to be will be. I'm not going to sit around and feel upset about it anymore. My ex was an emotionally abusive asshole and I am starting to realize that I have been living with the effects of his abuse for a while. When I look in the mirror I have always seen someone different than what everyone else sees but he made it worse. He poked fun at my insecurities, shot me down, and made me feel worse. I am NOT that girl he said I am when he's mad. Fuck him!
Btw this ex has been pretty much stalking me. He knows that I talk on the phone at night and like to walk around on my porch and has been circling my block. Two nights ago he circled about 7 times! He has a new car and doesn't realize that I know that lovely bit of information. (He is blocked on my Facebook but not my friend's) Creeper! It's been a year! Leave me alone!
Today an old friend and I are going to hang out. He turned his basement into an awesome chill area. He has a bar, beer pong table, foosball table, air hockey table, and a bunch of glow in the dark stuff. We are going to play beer pong and catch up. It's nice to do something different on a Saturday night. I needed this!
Apparently my father is coming tomorrow to take us out for breakfast. I have been dodging his calls lately because I get emotional when I talk to him. I haven't seen him in months and he only lives 25-30 minutes away. I have worked so hard to get to the emotionally stable place I am at now, and I don't want to ruin it just by listening to his BS. He knows that I started drinking again, and I know he is going to give me a speech. I will reply simply with a "keep your opinions to yourself" and that's it. Just because I have a couple beers or a couple glasses of wine occasionally doesn't mean that I have lost it. I chose to quit drinking because it would be easier to quit smoking. And guess what? My life, my choice. He wasn't there as I was growing up, let me pretty much get away with everything, and now he wants to tell me what I should and should not do? Ha! I should probably tell him that I am hungover when he shows up!
Beer pong tonight. Excited!!! Yay!
=)
All over the news is that insanity that happened up in CT. I try to stay away from watching it because it devastates me. Those poor babies, and the teachers who lost their lives protecting them. It breaks my heart over and over again. Honestly, where is this world coming to? =(
My best friend, (tbh my only true friend) was planning on coming to my house for Christmas. We were joking around about spending the holidays alone and not caring like it's just another day (He lives deep in Manhattan) then he decided he would come. Our plan was to buy a shitload of wine, get wrecked, and celebrate being awesome. Lol! I was down! The holidays were starting to look up for me! At least for one day!
Well, he's not coming anymore. We spoke last night and he's concerned about taking the train on a holiday since he has never done that before. I understood. I wouldn't want to travel via train or bus on a holiday. Especially with the madness that is New York City.
So back to square one and my original plan. A extra large bottle of wine, and me all by my lonesome. I have accepted it. I am finally okay with it. I mean, it's an advantage right? I can play the music I want to listen to. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to deal with sloppy drunk people annoying me. The drunken insults and drama. Just me, and my music. Might actually be peaceful. I am still wearing my little black dress, candy cane stockings, and my Santa hat. At least that plan can never change! =)
All jokes aside I am grateful to still be alive to celebrate the holidays even if I spend it with myself. There are so many people right now especially with this tragedy that are going to spend their holidays heartbroken and grieving. My heart goes out to them all. Instead of complaining about not having anyone special to spend the holidays with I will be thankful for what I DO have. And I have a LOT to be thankful for.
I may not have the friends I want, and the man my heart needs but that's okay. I am only going to be 25. I have so much time to find the right ones or actually, better yet, let them find me! What's meant to be will be. I'm not going to sit around and feel upset about it anymore. My ex was an emotionally abusive asshole and I am starting to realize that I have been living with the effects of his abuse for a while. When I look in the mirror I have always seen someone different than what everyone else sees but he made it worse. He poked fun at my insecurities, shot me down, and made me feel worse. I am NOT that girl he said I am when he's mad. Fuck him!
Btw this ex has been pretty much stalking me. He knows that I talk on the phone at night and like to walk around on my porch and has been circling my block. Two nights ago he circled about 7 times! He has a new car and doesn't realize that I know that lovely bit of information. (He is blocked on my Facebook but not my friend's) Creeper! It's been a year! Leave me alone!
Today an old friend and I are going to hang out. He turned his basement into an awesome chill area. He has a bar, beer pong table, foosball table, air hockey table, and a bunch of glow in the dark stuff. We are going to play beer pong and catch up. It's nice to do something different on a Saturday night. I needed this!
Apparently my father is coming tomorrow to take us out for breakfast. I have been dodging his calls lately because I get emotional when I talk to him. I haven't seen him in months and he only lives 25-30 minutes away. I have worked so hard to get to the emotionally stable place I am at now, and I don't want to ruin it just by listening to his BS. He knows that I started drinking again, and I know he is going to give me a speech. I will reply simply with a "keep your opinions to yourself" and that's it. Just because I have a couple beers or a couple glasses of wine occasionally doesn't mean that I have lost it. I chose to quit drinking because it would be easier to quit smoking. And guess what? My life, my choice. He wasn't there as I was growing up, let me pretty much get away with everything, and now he wants to tell me what I should and should not do? Ha! I should probably tell him that I am hungover when he shows up!
Beer pong tonight. Excited!!! Yay!
=)
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