Jerry, my brother Calie and the Step Mother

I got a phone call yesterday from my best friends daughter Mary Kay. Her mother Mary died 5 years ago. We were like sisters.. She had many ills and never complained. Anyway, Mary Kay told me that she had Jerry (Marys husband) in a golf tournament but couldnt reach him. After four days she sent her Brother in law to check in on him. Jerrys car was there but the front door was locked. Brian climbed through a window to find Jerry on the kitchen floor, he was dead and had probably been there for four days. So tragic... We think he had a heart attack. Funeral is today. I wasnt feeling well so I sent Ryan (my son) to stand in for me. Ryan loved Jerry and Mary. So another one bites the dust... When does it all end? He was such a wonderful human being.On Tuesday I got a call from my brother Clayton to tell me that mom had called him to tell him that my brother Calie is very ill. Ofcourse she wouldnt call me. Im not part of her family. Calie is 50 and 6 years ago had to have a pace maker and defibulator. Two years ago it quit working and he had to have another. He is very sick and filling up with fluids. I called his wife Sharon and she told me that she is really worried about him. She reminded me that my father had lived 6 years and two months with his heart disease. Calie is at 6 years and one month and is not doing well. She doesnt think he will be with us much longer.. This breaks my heart.. That is why there is the sad face.. I cant take any more of this, its wiping me out... I have been through so many deaths lately that I hate to pick up the phone or newspaper... I need a break from the heart break. While talking to Sharon she told me that she had been speaking to my step mother.. What a shocker, I havent heard from her in 19 years. She said that Jinx (my stepmother) had been asking about me. She is in a hospital about 200 miles from my home. She has cancer is isnt expected to live long. I called her on the tele and she sounded like we were long lost friends. I said this is Y'Vonne and she said you mean my girl Vonnie? I have missed you so much. Im thinking, then why did you disapear after my father died? Why did you sell of my grandfathers things and my dads, to an antique dealer, when I asked to purchase them myself for the same price a stranger was going to give you for them. Were you afraid that I might want something for free? I told her I would pay.. I wanted the memories of my family, the only things that were left.. But no she sold them to a stranger and then never contacted me again.. Not for 19 years. Now she is in the hospital dying from colon cancer and now she wants me to be there for her.I had to hold back some pretty angry thoughts as she wasnt always the kindest woman. If she would have had her way, I wouldnt have even got to see my dad before he passed away. Instead, I held back the anger and told her I would try to make it to see her.  So my best friends hubby died, my brother is possibly dying and my good ole step mommy is on her way out.. I feel bad about Jerry and im devastated about my brother. I have mixed feelings about my step mommy. Im sure she wants me to help her with the bills or something.. Im sure it really isnt me she wants to see or maybe she has ran out of friends.. I dont know.. I guess I will find out soon...Thanks for listening and thanks for being here for me.. If it werent for you guys, I would be very lost right now, not to say Im not.... it would just be worse... I will keep you up to date... I love all of you with all my heart.. You have been the best friends anyone could ask for.. Especially since I dont have Mary anymore... Love you and stay safe.... Y'Vonne