Jerred Thomas
Jerred Thomas was born on July 11, 1986. He was a very good baby and young boy. He was only loaned to me from God for 6 years and 29 days as he drowned on August 10,1992. His very best friend was his older brother Jono (Jonothon) who is 2 years older then him. He also adored his younger brother Joey (Joseph) who was only 2 1/2 when Jerred left. He was my peace keeper between his brothers. He would sit in the middle and be playing one thing with Jono and another thing with Joey at the same time. One of my neighbors was my minister at the time who called Jerred a "ragamuffin" as he was in such a hurry to get dressed and get down to the business of playing that many times his shirt was inside out and shoes were on the wrong feet. He did not care he just wanted to play.
That Day!
On Monday August 10,1992 Jono and Joey were outside playing with our 2 new neighbor boys, ages 7 and 5. They took off on their bikes at around 11:50, I did not think anything of it as they knew their bounderies. Also we had just caught Jerred down by the river on the previous Saturday and I had told both boys what would happen if they played down there. A few days after Jerred died Jono told me I was right everything I had told them happened just as I said it would. Anyways my boys were followers, they just wanted to be accepted and have friends to play with. Well the other 2 boys dared them to go down to the river and at first my 2 said no, but the other 2 would not give up so away they went. My husband would come home for lunch and that day he happened to ask where they were I just said they are riding their bikes. Well he got a feeling that he should drive around and find them before he went back to work but he just brushed it off. He had left and not 5 minutes later I started hearing sirens, lots of them. We lived in farm country so I just thought there was a fire somewhere.
All of a sudden one of the neighbor boys who was with my boys ran up to my back door and was yelling at me that "my brother" was in the river and to hurry. He was gone before I realized what he was saying. I quick called my husband and then I grabbed Joey and was out the back door screaming for someone to help me as I did not have a car and the river was about a mile away. It seemed like hours but it was only minutes when the other boys' mom came home. Before she could shut the car off I was in it with Joey telling her something happened at the river and our boys are there. We took off and got down there as fast as we could. As soon as Jono saw me he came running and grabbed me screaming he was so sorry over and over again. I asked him where Jerred was and he pointed to a tree laying in the river and said "he is under water right there mom, I am so sorry". I told him it was not his fault. By this time their were quite a few people there, the joys of living in a very small town, many that I knew. One of them was Jono's teacher, she took Jono and went and sat with him and comforting him while I was busy talking to the police and getting the right people called to get out there and sending Joey home with the other boys' mom.
Greg (my husband) got there and he went straight to Jono and yelled "what have you done?". I grabbed him and said HE did NOT DO ANYTHING now leave him alone. My husband was an alcoholic and had already started his 2nd treatment program by this time but was still drinking. Well he stormed off the bridge and went down beside the river as close as they would let him and sat by himself. When our old minister got there, our regular one was on vacation, he went down by Greg and tried to talk to him but he just pushed him away also.
Mean while the bridge was full of people and I was being well taken care of as was Jono. Someone brought blankets to wrap around us to help us from going into shock. I saw a car pull up and recognized the lady getting out, she was a reporter for the local paper. I went to her and said it is my son in the river please no pictures and please, please be kind. She held me and promised and she was and also put her camera into her car. Jono was getting very frustrated as the dive team, police and firemen would not listen to him when they had asked him where Jerred went under water. he pointed to the same place he told me. Well they started diving under the bridge and worked their way towards that tree. They were just taking their final dive when they finally looked right where Jono said. Sure enough they found him. The time was 2:05, so just over 1 1/2 hours after the call went in. They had to work their way across the river with my little love bug as the ambulance workers were waiting on the otherside. Greg ran from his spot and was down there when they brought him out of the river. 2 policemen were holding him back, another was keeping me right where I was so that they could start CPR and working on Jerr. Greg was allowed to sit in the front of the ambulance and they only worked on him for 5 minutes before taking off for the hospital. During that time his heart beat twice. Jono and I were put in the back of a squad car with the officer being a neighbor and friend of ours who had boys also the ages of my 2 oldest and had watched Jerred grow.
We got to the hospital and when I walked in the waiting room was full of my relatives, just recently I found out that some of my relatives were turned away and not allowed in as it was so full in there. My family, Greg, me , Jono, my mom, my brother and sister and her husband and our minister were ushered immediately into a private waiting room. My brother took over and was the go between for us. He kept us updated on what was going on. We had been told before we left the river that a helicopter would be at the hospital waiting to possibly take him to Childrens in Minneapolis. I could not understand why it had not come. The next thing was the transplant people came and talked to my brother. He came in and asked us if jerr did not make did we want to donate what ever was possible, I looked at my husband and Greg and he just gave me a totally lost look so I said yes everything they can use they may. They worked on my baby until 4:30 when they finally pronounced him. I was able to go back and see him and the one thing I really remember was all the staff were crying also including the doctor who walked up to us and said he was so sorry he tried everything he could. I said I knwo but why did he die his heart beat when they brought him out of the river and was told it actually had not beat it was just muscle contractions which actually poisoned his body after being in the river as long as he was. I went to him and just held my baby and cried. My mom said at one point that is enough now let him go. i just looked at her angrily and said leave me alone this is MY baby and I will never get to hold him again!!! Greg asked after awhile if I would please let him hold him so I let go and never got to hold my little bug again.
By this time I was just in a world of my own and holding onto Jono for dear life. My sister and her husband went to get Joey and my brother brought us home. My uncles retrieved our car from the river. when we got home I realized I had been canning tomatoes and had not turned off the stove, well someone did. Then I saw the table and the counters were just packed full of food and there was tons of soda in the fridge along with more food. I worked for the local grocery store and they had sent all of the food over. Then other people kept coming to the door dropping more food off. I was sitting in my chair next to the phone so when it rang it was automatic to pick it up. BIG mistake as it was a major newspaper from the cities. They asked me lots of questions, but what they printed was such a mismatch of all the things I had said I sounded like a stupid idiot with what they printed. After that my brother was the only one to answer the phone. Greg's grandmother was very close to us and like his mom since he had lost his mom when he was 16, so he called her. she was a crabby old German and the first words out of her mouth to him were"Now what did you do???? So he yelled back NOT A DAMN THING!!!! HE DROWNED!!! I WAS NOT THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED!! I went to soak in a tub for awhile to try to calm down somewhat, easier said then done but I did have sometime to myself. For the next few hours things were really just a blur, then around 8:00 my mom and my sister went towards my boy's bedroom and were going to pack some clothes for them and mom was going to take them with her home. I flipped on her big time. My reaction was I just lost one son and now you want to take my other two away from me?????? I do not think so. At the time I thought it was so mean of her, later I realized her heart was in the right place.
I do remember everything that happened that entire week through the cemetary then once we got to the luncheon after that is where my memories stop. A lot of the years that week is hard and I go through everything all over again, then there are a few years that I just remember my little boy and how wonderful he was to have in my life for those 6 short years. Every year I dread July 11th coming through August 13th because I do not know how emotional I will be.
That Day!
On Monday August 10,1992 Jono and Joey were outside playing with our 2 new neighbor boys, ages 7 and 5. They took off on their bikes at around 11:50, I did not think anything of it as they knew their bounderies. Also we had just caught Jerred down by the river on the previous Saturday and I had told both boys what would happen if they played down there. A few days after Jerred died Jono told me I was right everything I had told them happened just as I said it would. Anyways my boys were followers, they just wanted to be accepted and have friends to play with. Well the other 2 boys dared them to go down to the river and at first my 2 said no, but the other 2 would not give up so away they went. My husband would come home for lunch and that day he happened to ask where they were I just said they are riding their bikes. Well he got a feeling that he should drive around and find them before he went back to work but he just brushed it off. He had left and not 5 minutes later I started hearing sirens, lots of them. We lived in farm country so I just thought there was a fire somewhere.
All of a sudden one of the neighbor boys who was with my boys ran up to my back door and was yelling at me that "my brother" was in the river and to hurry. He was gone before I realized what he was saying. I quick called my husband and then I grabbed Joey and was out the back door screaming for someone to help me as I did not have a car and the river was about a mile away. It seemed like hours but it was only minutes when the other boys' mom came home. Before she could shut the car off I was in it with Joey telling her something happened at the river and our boys are there. We took off and got down there as fast as we could. As soon as Jono saw me he came running and grabbed me screaming he was so sorry over and over again. I asked him where Jerred was and he pointed to a tree laying in the river and said "he is under water right there mom, I am so sorry". I told him it was not his fault. By this time their were quite a few people there, the joys of living in a very small town, many that I knew. One of them was Jono's teacher, she took Jono and went and sat with him and comforting him while I was busy talking to the police and getting the right people called to get out there and sending Joey home with the other boys' mom.
Greg (my husband) got there and he went straight to Jono and yelled "what have you done?". I grabbed him and said HE did NOT DO ANYTHING now leave him alone. My husband was an alcoholic and had already started his 2nd treatment program by this time but was still drinking. Well he stormed off the bridge and went down beside the river as close as they would let him and sat by himself. When our old minister got there, our regular one was on vacation, he went down by Greg and tried to talk to him but he just pushed him away also.
Mean while the bridge was full of people and I was being well taken care of as was Jono. Someone brought blankets to wrap around us to help us from going into shock. I saw a car pull up and recognized the lady getting out, she was a reporter for the local paper. I went to her and said it is my son in the river please no pictures and please, please be kind. She held me and promised and she was and also put her camera into her car. Jono was getting very frustrated as the dive team, police and firemen would not listen to him when they had asked him where Jerred went under water. he pointed to the same place he told me. Well they started diving under the bridge and worked their way towards that tree. They were just taking their final dive when they finally looked right where Jono said. Sure enough they found him. The time was 2:05, so just over 1 1/2 hours after the call went in. They had to work their way across the river with my little love bug as the ambulance workers were waiting on the otherside. Greg ran from his spot and was down there when they brought him out of the river. 2 policemen were holding him back, another was keeping me right where I was so that they could start CPR and working on Jerr. Greg was allowed to sit in the front of the ambulance and they only worked on him for 5 minutes before taking off for the hospital. During that time his heart beat twice. Jono and I were put in the back of a squad car with the officer being a neighbor and friend of ours who had boys also the ages of my 2 oldest and had watched Jerred grow.
We got to the hospital and when I walked in the waiting room was full of my relatives, just recently I found out that some of my relatives were turned away and not allowed in as it was so full in there. My family, Greg, me , Jono, my mom, my brother and sister and her husband and our minister were ushered immediately into a private waiting room. My brother took over and was the go between for us. He kept us updated on what was going on. We had been told before we left the river that a helicopter would be at the hospital waiting to possibly take him to Childrens in Minneapolis. I could not understand why it had not come. The next thing was the transplant people came and talked to my brother. He came in and asked us if jerr did not make did we want to donate what ever was possible, I looked at my husband and Greg and he just gave me a totally lost look so I said yes everything they can use they may. They worked on my baby until 4:30 when they finally pronounced him. I was able to go back and see him and the one thing I really remember was all the staff were crying also including the doctor who walked up to us and said he was so sorry he tried everything he could. I said I knwo but why did he die his heart beat when they brought him out of the river and was told it actually had not beat it was just muscle contractions which actually poisoned his body after being in the river as long as he was. I went to him and just held my baby and cried. My mom said at one point that is enough now let him go. i just looked at her angrily and said leave me alone this is MY baby and I will never get to hold him again!!! Greg asked after awhile if I would please let him hold him so I let go and never got to hold my little bug again.
By this time I was just in a world of my own and holding onto Jono for dear life. My sister and her husband went to get Joey and my brother brought us home. My uncles retrieved our car from the river. when we got home I realized I had been canning tomatoes and had not turned off the stove, well someone did. Then I saw the table and the counters were just packed full of food and there was tons of soda in the fridge along with more food. I worked for the local grocery store and they had sent all of the food over. Then other people kept coming to the door dropping more food off. I was sitting in my chair next to the phone so when it rang it was automatic to pick it up. BIG mistake as it was a major newspaper from the cities. They asked me lots of questions, but what they printed was such a mismatch of all the things I had said I sounded like a stupid idiot with what they printed. After that my brother was the only one to answer the phone. Greg's grandmother was very close to us and like his mom since he had lost his mom when he was 16, so he called her. she was a crabby old German and the first words out of her mouth to him were"Now what did you do???? So he yelled back NOT A DAMN THING!!!! HE DROWNED!!! I WAS NOT THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED!! I went to soak in a tub for awhile to try to calm down somewhat, easier said then done but I did have sometime to myself. For the next few hours things were really just a blur, then around 8:00 my mom and my sister went towards my boy's bedroom and were going to pack some clothes for them and mom was going to take them with her home. I flipped on her big time. My reaction was I just lost one son and now you want to take my other two away from me?????? I do not think so. At the time I thought it was so mean of her, later I realized her heart was in the right place.
I do remember everything that happened that entire week through the cemetary then once we got to the luncheon after that is where my memories stop. A lot of the years that week is hard and I go through everything all over again, then there are a few years that I just remember my little boy and how wonderful he was to have in my life for those 6 short years. Every year I dread July 11th coming through August 13th because I do not know how emotional I will be.
Replies
Oh, Susie... Telling of this most intimate narrative of what happened on that day that your planets collided forever takes courage, I know.
I am SO terribly sorry that Jerred is not with you earth side as you had always imagined he would be and I too understand the emotions that come with these tender days. I have a one/two heart punch with my son\'s angel day on July 13th and his birthday on August 17th. Each year finds me in a different place on this path, yet always what is the constant is the LOVE and the longing. Oh, what we wouldn\'t give to hold our sons close and to breathe in every inch of them.
Gentle care dear Susie, and thank you for sharing this very tender narrative. I look forward in continuing to get to know Jerred and you.
XO Joanie
What a devastating loss. I can only sit here and cry. So glad you found us. You will receive lots of love and understanding from these moms. Love, Katrina
What a devastating loss! I am so so sorry that Jerred is not physically here with you.....I have only been on this journey a little over 2 years and everyday is a different day as far as my emotions go.....Thank you for sharing - it is good to meet you!
My heart goes out to you as so many of us in this community have suffered the devastating loss of our child(ren). It did take courage to write about Jerred\'s short life and I am amazed you were able to relive it so vividly. I am so, so sorry that you and your family have had this loss. It has been more than 6 years for us since we lost our child. It was harsh but the moms here have helped me so much and I hope we can all continue to help each other on this journey. Hugs, Leda/MomofJosh
My heart aches for what you went through on that terrible day....and for all the pain this greatest of losses has caused you. I\'m so very sorry.
I\'ve found that sharing, here among others who truly \"get it\", has made the greatest impact on my healing journey. I thank you for sharing.
Tight heart hugs and lots of LOVE energy being sent to you my new friend.
Teri,
Kala and Brice\'s mom
Susie, what a precious little boy Jerred was/is. I am so very sorry. We will see our boys again one day. Love and hugs, Linda
Thank you for sharing such a sacred story of the loss of your son. Such vivid memories. I\'m so very sorry for your loss and I know that we will always remember them and carry them with us till we depart. My your precious little angel continue to watch over you and his brothers. Much love. Robin