Jer & Linda
I am going to use this area to help me put down my feelings and emotions, in hopes someday in the future I can get some help for them. Plus what my hopes and dream.
I have made so many mistakes over the years. I try to avoid doing anything till late at night with my husband Jerry. To avoid making more bad mistakes. I also avoid people to keep from letting them know how I really am feeling inside and what I am feeling like.
I was told many years ago I was a people person, that is I did better when I was around people. Now that I am 68 I am finding it very hard to get motivated anymore. Though if I get around people and there something going on I find myself helping out.
I hope that someday I can get back to the way I was when I was younger.
Replies
Today I feeling like I am never going to every get motivated to do anything, I am finding it harder and harder to want to doing anything but stay in bed. I also am losing all interest in making any type of decisions on what to eat.
I am praying to God through out the day for more of His Holy Spirit and Help but I still feeling very lost on what to do or eat.
Jerry is at a lost on how to help me. Our health insurance will not pay for me to see a therapist to me figure out what all is wrong with me, I need to see a doctor for the medicine I would need (we cannot afford the medicine I would need to take) and a dietician to help me with my eating program I would need to be on.
I do not have anyone to talk to except Jerry, the ones at Church or on Facebook/Facebook Messager I only tell them about how I grow and later I will talk about Jerry and me.
So I really have no close friends I can talk to. I was born with high forceps slip delivery and the doctors told daddy and mother that they were lucky I was not more mentally retarded right after I was born.
I am going through one of my bad days today. Earlier this week I talked on the phone to a friend of Jerry's and mine it was the first time I talked to anyone this way for over 20 years. I am still not comfortable talking to anyone on the phone except with Jerry.
I re-arranged the master bedroom, walk-in closet, the walk-in shower and toilet area and the master bathroom also this week while Jer was at work.
We finally after Jerry got home from work today went and signed the paperwork so we can stay living in this apartment till the end of July 2019.
Now I am bored and nothing much to do. Jerry always has a lot to do when he is home. Will stop for now.
I have been having a rough time since I was very young. I have had a friend here and there. Right now my only friend I have is my husband Jerry. He works Monday through Thursday 9 hours a day and 4 hours on Fridays.
He usually only gets 2 to 3 hours of sleep on Sunday through Thursday nights. So he is always too tired to do much with Me like to talk, when we do try to talk he falls asleep from not getting enough sleep.
I do not have anyone I can call or go see. Our car needs a new battery put into it and I only know how to drive the car. Jerry takes the van to and from work, plus to do any shopping.
I have gotten to the point I do not to want to bother anyone, I have pretty well decided to crawl into a hole and stay there.
We do not have money for me to go to a therapist, doctor and dietician which I so badly need to see to find what all is wrong with me mentally and emotionally, then get the.medicine I need. Then go to the doctor to see what is wrong with me physically and what I should be eating in the right way.
I have given up hope that I will ever get better emotionally, mentally and physically. I have been told I am slightly mentally retarded from high forceps slip delivery since birth.
I really need help but it has to be done for free on the part that will not be covered by my health insurance. I am at the end of my ropes so to speak and trying to find help in these areas I have talked about.
I am asking for prayers in the areas I am talking about. Thanks in advance for all your love and prayers for me.
My husband, Jerry is a very kind and loving person. He has never earned a lot of money but he does his best to make sure we do not go without food and other needs we have.
He when it comes to help me with my mental and emotional health, plus so badly wishes I could figure out what I want to eat, so he is at a lost on how to help me in these areas of my life.