Jealousy is a curse
a friend of mine is a model and I go through her instagram photos and I get so effing jealous that she has the confidence to dress in little to nothing take (or pose for) photos then post them. Now she isn't some woman who spent her formative years training to be a model (dieting, constantly exercising, generally healthy) but she has been a PT for a few years now. She's gone up and down in body size but that has never stopped her from showing her body (which is the main thing I'm jealous of). Now we aren't too different in sizes I'm roughly a AUS. 12-14 which is pretty adverage she would be slightly smaller if not exact same. I know having babies isn't gonna help and I have nearly lost the 20kg + that I put on with my first let alone what my second added and now I find out I'm pregnant again with my third! All I want is to get small enough and toned enough to feel comfortable getting my sexy on in front of a camera. I know woman sized 8 or 10 can have cellulite and what not but I just can't shake the feeling of being gross to look at. I never body shame except myself. I feel stupid for even having an issue when women like Lizzo and rebel are out there showing us women what goddesses really look like and I'm here like hide me I'm gross and I hate that I feel this way. I know most photos are photoshopped to remove or reduce the appearance of cellulite etc but I feel like to combat this stigma photoshopping body parts needs to stop (unless for personal use or the model wants it).
my partner thinks I'm jealous of the ladies bodies but mostly it's their confidence. Sure I wish I had nicer skin or hair or make up (these are all achievable) but it's their confidence and self love I'm mostly jealous of. Getting there but it's hard to pass when beauty is shoved in my face.
Replies
I’d agree. It’s not their bodies. It’s their confidence. It why some of us look at men and women and say, “they should not be wearing that.”
Rebel though has lost bunch of weight. Adele has too. But even though they lose weight, the issues behind their weight or any other challenges may still remain.
A healthy mind is the key to everything. I’m sure you’re more than enough and it sounds like your partner supports you and acknowledge that.
Also fitness goals are Important. Even small ones can make you feel accomplished. I’ve run 5ks for years, but I’m not a runner. This year I bumped to a 10k and now I’ve registered for a half marathon.
I’m not a runner but I’ll
Push and feel accomplished.
You know that you are more than enough!
Thanks Jeff, I had my fitness goals started before the new year but I fell pregnant again and the first few months (so far with previous experience) knock me both physically (morning sickness and lack of enough sleep) and mentally (much better this time round so far lol) but I’m not gonna let it stop me for long this time:D will get back into it slowly but surely
Not to pick nits, but my own psychotherapy demands I stay mindful of the diffs between "Jealousy" and "Envy." Jealousy is the fear of loss. Envy is the drive to possess. The distinction makes a huge diff in which therapy tools I reach for.
I'm a photographer with the skill to make a pile of pig shit look like a strutting racehorse. Most of the models I have worked with envy self-confidence, as well. It's my job to get *their* insecurities out of those impressive finished products and I promise I work harder at my job than the models work at being photogenic. They would look much more like real humans, complete with flaws, without my technical touch-ups. For what it's worth, I prefer photographing insects. There is much to be said for a model I can squash after the photo shoot. Keep your venom to yourself, critter.
Physical fitness is a whole different phenom and improves quality of life far more than an instagram following. Even more so during pregnancy. Pregnancy exercises benefit the baby as much as the mother.
Lol I love the squish your model comment!
Yes I feel as though she is using this modelling as an excuse to garner attention and to try and feel better about herself but it seems to me to not have the desired effect she wanted.
I believe that her and I need to stop worrying about how others perceive us and just work on our self love without the input from others that are practically strangers.
With your distinction between envy and jealousy I do believe it’s jealousy because I have lost my self confidence and the body I used to somewhat like. It’s was before kids I lost it and as I fell pregnant with my first is when I had almost got it back but morning sickness kicks me in the arse and can last all day at times so my fitness goals And motivation went out the door. They are still there just waiting for the chance to actually get into a routine. Hopefully this time round with baby 3 I can kick the morning sickness quicker lol. So I suppose it’s envy because I wish to possess her motivation and zest for fitness and to get back into shape. God emotions are confusing things to understand