Jealousy

I graduated last month
my friends
are all moving on
one friend
is going to work at a hospital
one friend
is volunteering in uganda
one friend
has her own apartment and job in an accounting firm
one friend
is going to med school
and I
applied to a movie theater today
and its really hard
to not be bitter
or say "that could be me
if I wasnt such a fuck up"
and I love them all
and my teeth hurt
from gritting them 
every day