January 3, 2011 - Part II 6th to 9th grade

Where was I, oh yeah, the end of 5th grade.  6th grade seemed to go alittle better socially but I wound up having the hardest and oldest teacher for 6th grade.  Her name was Mrs Mowry.  I did like the old lady.  The only issue I had with her is that anyone who didn't do well on tests and homework assignments had to stay after school for extra help.  She really kept me - for Months!!  I think there was only a short 2-3 times where I didn't stay after school.  I remember one time, Mrs Mowry couldn't stay and there was a few of us who actually went to detention.  I couldn't believe it.  She wouldn't let up.  The kids were kinder in this classroom group.  Had a few of the braniacs. I sometimes think she made her tests really hard to keep the few of us back after school.   I was placed in the upper level spelling group and lower level math.  They were different students from other classrooms in the 5th grade.  I was friends with Lorraine and Kim, Angela was down the hall far away from me.  Thank god.  I did good with my music, Mr Herlihy always had a hard time remember that I existed all summer long but once I reminded him (he appologized everytime), he put me in the right section, 2nd clarinets.   I could never understand that man, to this day!  Mrs Mowry wouldn't let me in the chorus because she thought it would take some time away from schoolwork (I was in the band, orchestra and chorus in high school - now I understand what she ment by that, more about that later).   back to Mrs Mowry, she actually spanked a kid in class for being very bad - I mean put him over her thighs and wacked him with a ruler (I don't remember what happened to that kid after but I heard that he like failed about 5 grades and was actually 16 years old and quit).  We were so shocked but I don't think she cared because she was retiring the next month.  We had a little reception at the end of the fall 1978 year and when we returned in the spring of 1979, we had a new teacher - Mrs Stock. 
Backing up to the winter of 1976, our dog george - god love him - we had a huge ice storm and the dog got out.  We had electricity going outside of the detached garage and the dog got ahold of the electrical wire and he almost electricuted himself.  Poor puppy.  George was the usual "hines 57 variety"  I think he was part boarder colley.  In the summers, he would go camping with us.  We always had to chain him up  but loved to go after kids on their bikes.  He would always "nip" at them.  I think my father was afraid that he would actualy bite a leg so he made sure the rabies shots were up to date.  He was our best friend growing up.  When he was home he would dig holes in the yard - 20 of them.  My father would constantly cover them up then he would go right back and dig them up again. 
Dad had such a temper growing up.  We were always screamed at by him.  He was such a chain smoker during his 20's and 30's.  Smoked 4 packs a day.  Thank god he quit in the 1980's (more about that later).  He was very strict and we wouldn't talk back to him or look at him a different way.  Forget swaring, I couldn't say "damn", but it was ok to say "bullshit".  He always referred himself as "god". 
Mom was pretty even tempered growing up.  She was the lecturer and resoner.  I always thought that we cried a lot harder when she would lecture us.  at least dad yelled and that was it.  She took at least 10-15 minutes.  She too was a heavy smoker.  Mom would also be the protector for us against my father. 
To think that Dad was such an olgier growing up.  at 70, he is such a pussy cat.  I think his doctor told him "enough, you have high blood pressure".  We gave him grey hairs early.
where was I.....oh yes.  7th grade.  Fall of 1979.  We finally made it to the middle school.  No more sitting at a desk for the full 8 hrs.  We finally got classes.  I got my schedule.  I didn't have band!  I couldn't believe it.  Mom yelled at the guidance counselor and they wouldn't put me in the band for the Fall semester.  They had all my classes in place and put me in remedial reading while the band was rehersing (band was  an actual class by middle school).  So, I got band put in my schedule for the Spring 1980 semester.  The whole ordeal was very heart breaking.  The school knew I was in band but they left me out.  I think it was Mr Herlihy who forgot about me for the middle school bank list (again) and that was why I was overlooked.  He has no memory about me whatsoever, but always remembered me during the school year.  I was a decent clarinet player by the 6th and 7th grade so what in the hell was that all about?  The middle school band teacher was Ms Morgano - she was my aunts (godmothers) best friend from high school.  I knew I had it really good for the middle school years.  The 1st day of band in the spring, she put me in the 3rd clarinet section until she heard me play (I told her how well I do play).  She had me come in with the 1st chair player Jill and we played the 1st clarinet part of "how deep is your love" by the beegees.  I did great.  The next week, I shot up to 4th chair past weirdo Laura and Ted (Ted is now a pediatric psychiatrist).  Boy they were pissed at me.  Thats just too bad!  They had to realize that I would come back to take their chair away from them.  What did they think? That I would stay in the 3rd clarinet section.  LOL!!   The rest of 7th grade was uneventful.  I was this tall, lanky person who wore preppy outfits and pennyloafers.  It was the beginning of the 80's, we were a preppy school and had to look the part.  I still remember my 7th grade english teacher, a teacher that my sister and I shared (but in different class periods) and her preposition phrases and had us memorize them.  Those damn grammar questions with nouns, pronouns and adjectives.  Yuck!!  7th grade english was the class that made that year so long.
Fall of 1980, 8th grade was probably my worst year.  My overall looks were the worst ever.  Kids were teasing me, tormenting me because of my red, cystlike pimples.  This one kid, mike drew a picture of a witch in study hall and handed it to me.  I was very humiliated.  This other kid Brad, always tried to out smart me in Math and I always got the better score (I think he was trying to prove that I was dumb).  Earlier in the year, we had this assembly and I was picked to go up.  I answered the question wrong and the whole 8th grade thought I was dumb.  It took the whole year to get over that.  I was back to being very timid and shy because of it.  Kids were the cruelist then.  Teachers were pretty good.  My math teacher in the 8th grade was a raging alcoholic.  He always talked like he was slurring his words.  This is one year I will not relive. 
October 27, 1980, I lost my grandfather on my fathers side - I was 13.  It sure was a shock to everyone.  He died unexpectedly.  that was my 1st experience of someone dying.   They said it was a massive heart attack but I know he had severe sleep apnea.  I remember staying nights over there and hearing my grandfather snore so loud and stopped breathing, sometimes for 20 seconds at a time.  At least he didn't suffer.  I remember the day before he passed, it was on a sunday he was reading the paper in his chair next to me (I was in my grandmothers chair).  His funeral was 3 days long and then he had the mass and burial.  I remember, before mass, they wheeled him outside and pushed him down the street at the church (no need for a hearse).  Today, that church is no longer there.  My great uncle was a funeral home director so we were able to have him take care of the arrangements (to this day, his son John is a funeral home director and took care of my aunt a few years back).  Uncle matt was great - us kids would get bored and we would go up to his apartment (he lived upstairs) to watch TV.  That was the last time I saw him alive and with his funeral home.  He died 3 years later and so did his funeral home.  when he died, it was discovered he didn't have a will.  This broke up the family in a big way 2 sons went 1 way and 2 went another.  Sad!!   We don't see them too often unless a family member passes on.  Its been many years so they are complete strangers to me now.   That whole neighborhood over there went downhill.
I had a hard time meeting new people too.  When I went to religious instruction on saturday mornings I went rollerscating at the rink that was right around the corner afterwards (this was between 6-8th grades).  I sometimes wished I was alittle bit braver to meet new kids (older/younger) than me.  I don't have a very good experience to tell you about rollarscating but I certainly loved doing it. Overall, Religious instruction wasn't too bad.  4th grade was the worst,  I had this teacher who tormented me and bullied me.  She always had me read in class then at the end of the year - she "failed" me.  Mom wouldn't stand for it so she asked father to grant me to the next grade level and he did.  The next year, a few kids thought I failed and ribbed me for a few months but it was ok. 
The summer of 1981, mom decided to do something about my red,cystlike pimples.  Grandma (moms mom) went to this dermatologist and talked about me.  He said he would take my case on but in reality - he wanted to have it published.  I didn't care, I wanted them gone.  So. the summer before my freshmen year I started a series of lancing treatments to my face.  I also went to see an eye surgeon and had a brown mole (benign) taken off my eyelid - outpatient surgery.  I hated that eye surgeon.  He belittled me so bad.  I think I went back to him about 3 more times and told my mother - enough!  I hated him.  He did a good job because it never came back.  it was on my right eyelid.  Anyways, I went back to the dermatologist probably a dozen times.  Finally finishing September 1981, my freshmen year.  I finally had a clear face.  The looks of shock from everyone in the 9th grade was priceless.  No one picked on me anymore.  I think they were absorbing what was happening to me.  I even got the one on the tip of my nose burned off (it has never returned).  He did warn me that I needed to come back for checkups and that some of them would come back flatter.  I knew I wasn't totally out of my element on that one.  I went back to him every year until about 5 years ago.  I heard he closed up practice, retired fully.  I don't think he is alive to this day (if he was, he would be around 89 years old!).  I was at the height of my music career in school.  1st chair in band, not orchestra - the band directors neice took that away from me (actually we were both a great team and played great duos together when the parts called for it - she actually was in 8th grade but became my favorite standpartner and my sisters friend), and I was in all state and all county band placing 5th chair 2nd clarinet (I did better than Steve, the guy the year before me and he was a better clarinet player - he played 3rd.  (more about him later).  I really enjoyed my clarinet then. 
In Fall 1981, we just had found out that my grandmother on my fathers side - contracted lung and brain cancer.  She had recently gone through depression after losing my grandfather.  she kept a dark and cold house (sometimes the house would be 55 degrees).  So gloomy.    It was a very lonely time and she wanted to be with him.  She had enough living.  Apparently, she had cancer for the last year and a half (probably since 1978), but wouldn't see a doctor.  Neither of them would see doctors.  They walked around like they were healthy but they weren't.  It infuriated my father to no end.  Babci (polish for grandma) went to the hospital for chemo and radiation treatments (she didn't go to Roswell, she thought it was too far and too combersome so she went to the hospital where I was born at for treatment, mostly because the hospital was closer to my godmothers home).  She faught a good battle.  She even smoked cigarettes in bed in her hospital room (back then people were allowed) - even with oxygen (we told her it was dangerous but she wouldn't listen).  She lasted a good 10 months - mostly due to the chemo and radiation.  She looked cute in those cloth bandana hats.  She died in November 28, 1982.  Went back to Uncle Matts funeral home,  we only had a 2 day funeral then wheeled her to church down the street with us trailing behind, then she was placed next to Dziadzi at the cemetary (They are there, Babci's parents and her brother (who died in 1920).    I actually wasn't that upset when she passed - when she was in the hospital the 2nd to the last time on Laborday 1982, I made peace with her soul.  Walked the beach to accept her life.  Now she was with Dziadzi (polish for grandpa) for all of eternity.  As a person, Babci wasn't your typical stereotype grandmother - she was your typical polish lady who was on the "gruff" side.  Never spoiled her grandchildren, she had her favorites (Kelly Kevin and I were not!  we were 3rd rate - she favored her daughters kids completely (godmothers and Aunt Joni's).  Pissed my mother off all the time and that was her biggest complaint).  Even though the way she treated us - Kelly, Kevin and myself - I still loved her very much.  I have fond memories that will last a lifetime. 
Overall, the remainder of my 9th grade year was much improved.  People started to talk to me and my confience was much better.  I was still painfully shy and timid and hung around my sister and her friends throughout much of that year.  My sister didn't like it too well but she took it like a trouper.  I figured, the next year I would try and make new friends and branch away from my sister and her friends alittle bit.  I just think that my shy and timidness wouldn't leave overnight.  that would be in the high school. 
Next chapter would be the remainder of my high school years - 1983-1985.  I might sneak in alittle bit of 1986 too - depending on how much I have to say.  We shall see.  You might even think I was alittle boy crazy after that.  LOL!!  You'll see, I don't want to spoil the surprise.