January 18th, 2012
I woke up today after sleeping with my daughter last night because of an argument with the husband. I am hurting a lot again today and feeling very frustrated. The house is a huge mess and I WANT to clean, but my body is telling me to rest It's difficult when you have motivation and want to do things and be well, but are limited. I spend so much time laying down "waiting" for the pain pills to kick in enough for me to get up. This is not a life by any means. I know that I can let the house go and only do the things that are important, but having dishes on the counter and clothes piling up makes me feel emotionally worse. I spend most of my time here.
My marriage is past falling apart and I'm sure part of it is due to the pressure and stress of finances and my health has put on us the last few years. He doesn't trust me by any means and its frustrating and getting old. I feel that it may be better to let this go. I can barely handle my illness and symptoms let alone a chaotic relationship on top of it. I'm getting tired and to the point of it being easy to leave an 8 year marriage.
So, I have applied for long term disability through my previous employer and it has been pending since November of last year. I had a nurse call me and accuse me of having my doctor lie for me to get approved. She says "You can work and how do I know that you are not partying?" I was in tears after that phone call. It's bad enough being unable to do things without trying to prove it on paper or convince someone who doesn't know you.
Okay, here's to another day. Keep my head up, stay positive, rest when I need and enjoy what I CAN do.
My marriage is past falling apart and I'm sure part of it is due to the pressure and stress of finances and my health has put on us the last few years. He doesn't trust me by any means and its frustrating and getting old. I feel that it may be better to let this go. I can barely handle my illness and symptoms let alone a chaotic relationship on top of it. I'm getting tired and to the point of it being easy to leave an 8 year marriage.
So, I have applied for long term disability through my previous employer and it has been pending since November of last year. I had a nurse call me and accuse me of having my doctor lie for me to get approved. She says "You can work and how do I know that you are not partying?" I was in tears after that phone call. It's bad enough being unable to do things without trying to prove it on paper or convince someone who doesn't know you.
Okay, here's to another day. Keep my head up, stay positive, rest when I need and enjoy what I CAN do.
Replies
Oh Jenny. You have so much to cope with. I know because f your illness you do not have the strenght to try to fight for your marriage but if and when you get better you will need your partner to be able to share this with you. I felt the same about my marriage a few weeks ago. It felt too hard trying when I needed to concentrate on myself and was ready to lket it go. Luckily it didn;t happene and a few weeks later when it almost happened again I began to fight for it. Things have improved a lot since then and I am just glad that I now have my husband to helpme through this even though his imput is very little. Forget the housework (easier said than dpne) put any motivation you have into your relationship and try to get thim to udnerstand how fragile you are feeling. Please keep me up to date with how things are going for you JUlie xxx