January 10, 2012 - Part VI 1987-1991
I was still at ECC for the year 1987. I had met this very possessive guy that really affected me in the worst way. I started to fail out of classes and couldn't apply myself. He use to have friends spy on me in school because I was friends with guys. He ended up breaking up with me for no reason. He claimed that he saw me with someone but I was only with him. To this day he thinks that.
I continued to work at my 1st job, full time summers and part time during school 1988, 1989. I worked from 1-5pm.
At the end of 1986, I joined a legion band. I drove some 40 miles one way to go to practice and to many parades in the summertime during the years 1986-1990. I almost didn't make the band because they felt that I wasn't good enough. I considered myself a good player but I had to compete with the people in the northern cities that were far better musicians than I was. They placed me last chair 2nd clarinet (what they did was alternate the 2nd and 3rd clarinet for concerts, which was fine by me). We also went to state parades in Lake Placid (it rained so hard that water was going though my instrument and I had to take my clarinet in to get all the pads replaced, I also forgot to bring a change of sneakers so I was stuck wearing soggy sneakers all weekend, yuck!). Then we went to legion band competitions which we always won. Louisville, Baltimore, there was a few others but I can't recall them. I got sick of marching in parades and missed many outdoor concerts after a few years. They didn't like it too much. The last straw was in 1990, the band decided to go to australia. I didn't have the $$. I returned my uniform to them and never came back. I still have my belt and hat. they were real pissed at me because I didn't return those but they stopped harassing me about it after a while.
I saw Tom the airforce guy again that xmas in 1987, 1988 and 1989. We made a pact that when he came home on leave we would see eachother but when we were apart we saw other people. More about him in 1990.
My friend Mary set me up with another guy friend, actually a friend of hers brother, Greg. I wasn't sure if I really liked him but eventually I really did. I was busy with the legion band and he was busy being a volunteer firefighter. We broke up some 5 months later. In some ways, I wish I would have faught for us to stay together. He was upset because I didn't see him or speak with him for 3 weeks. I know it was not a good way to break it off but I now realize just how busy the legion band had me. I think I was busy almost everyday of the week with them. Also, it turns out that I think he knew Tom from the Airforce because his best friend belonged to the same firehall as he did. How do I know? my old friend ruth. I was in her 2nd marraige wedding party and saw someone from the firehall. Ruth was friends with Tom and thats how we became friends. Anyways, to this day Greg will run the other direction if he sees me. I know when I lived in Orchard Park, he was still in the area so I know he was dodging me (probably pissed because I lived in the area). I remember about a month after we broke it off, I was out with some friends at a local bar. He and his friends walked in - the minute he saw me, he goes running out the door. I mean a sprint. Last I heard Greg had gotten married but his so called wife slept with the best man and he got it annuled. I think he spent some time in Texas (for what I have no idea). He was in town for alittle while. I don't know if he was in town while I lived in Orchard Park but I am sure he was dodging me if he was in town. I probably pissed him off. Thats all I remember.
1987 and 1988 finished without any excitement. Still lived at home but my brother and I switched rooms (he got the bigger room and I got his old smaller room). Aunt Joni got me into counted cross stitch and made some very nice patterns. One pattern in particular - a goose. I framed and gave it to my mother. She still has it hanging in the hallway. Its a real nice picture with alphabets along the boarder. The company I worked for in the summer of 1988, laid me off for about 2 months. Back in the 1980's I actually had to to to unemployment, sign in on a card in order to get paid (none of this calling in for benefit claims). It was a real pain in the butt but I went to visit Peggy (the one who I went to Toronto with all the time), she lived in Dunkirk with her mother so I got to visit with her quite a bit. I eventually got called back to work.
I got into my 1st accident in the summer of1988 with my hyundai. It was a great 1st car. Loved the sunroof. 5 speed manual. It was great. I was coming to a stop sign but overcorrected myself and ran into a utility vehicle. I was so upset. I did get it taken care of. That car was great for along while. I put on 86,000 miles in 3 years. thats a lot of driving. More about the car below.
1989 went ok. Same old same old. I started to look for other work. The job was getting to me and I knew it was time for me to fly away. Mom was encouraging me for most of 1988 and 1989 to look for something else. The company wasn't gonna promote me or put me anywhere else. Aunt Joni knew it was time for me to go. I was sick of working with family. The company had other family members there, brother brother, sister mother, aunt sister in law daughter. Brother sister. husband wife. Jeesh..you get my point. What I decided to do is apply at some temp agencies and go on interviews that way. Finally in the winter of 1989, I got a job as a receptionist at a law firm in downtown buffalo. So I started just after new years in 1990. By then, I was going part time at ECC - doing fairly well. Still on probation due to my grade point average. I was getting burned out and I knew my days at ECC were numbered. So in the Winter of 1990, I quit college all together. I couldn't finish and couldn't crawl up from probation. Yes, Mom and Dad were not happy but I promised them that I would eventually get my degree but didn't know when. I did take classes to help me get an office job - keyboarding, accounting.
Anyways, I started the lawfirm in January 1990. Started out good. I was actually hired as a relief receptionist and accounting clerk. The actual receptionist was a total bitch - her name was Kim. She ailienated me from the rest of the group. I felt like I was way over my head with the switchboard. The phones never stopped ringing. It went from small town company to high end corporate city law firm. Talk about a culture shock. I ate lunches by myself. I also helped the accountant with some accounting work. That the best thing about the job, I thrived on that. The girls in that area were super nasty to me. They never liked me working in their area and were very viscious. Finally 90 days later, in early April 1990 - the partners voted me out and I was terminated from the job. I collected unemployment again. I also got dumped again by this guy I saw for a short time. Losing a job and losing someone I liked wasn't the greatest. I guess deep down he didn't want a girlfriend to be unemployed (I guess that is one of the reasons why I don't get involved with anyone today because I am unemployed because of Jeff and the situation he put me in). Anyways, I wasn't unemployed for very long - I sent my resume everywhere. A small office supply company called me in for an interview as a dispatcher. I got along with the manager pretty well and he was so impressed that he referred me to another job - inventory/invoice clerk. I had an interview with the accountant and got the job. Meanwhile, this one girl in dispatch had it out for me really bad. She did everything in her power to sabatage me. She was always in my managers office telling him that I did this and that. Eventually the whole accounting department alienated me too. The only support system I had at that company was the guys in computer supply and the copier techs. Even the computer techs were on the fence with me. I also helped out for breaks and lunches on the switchboard (I did ok with that). One of the computer techs was so arrogant and nasty that he repremanded me on the phone because I couldn't say the opening greeting. I had to say "welcome to Larry Smith Office equipment, how can I help you". I have never felt so unappreciated at that company in all my life!! I was always in the managers office getting repremanded and chastized over and over again. They never trusted my work. They gave me extremely low self esteem. I had no one to stick up for me. The head manager turned his back to me all the time. His partner was constantly yelling in his office because he was blaming me about something that wasn't done right. They forbid me to take a second job, while it was ok for Kristie to have one. I needed a 2nd job because I had moved out of my parents house. I did get a 2nd job alright as a nursing home receptionist. Eventually, things got so bad that they terminated me there too. I lasted from 7/1990-4/1991.
In October 1990, I moved to the elmwood area of Buffalo. It wasn't too bad in the daytime but at night it was a scarry place to be. I wound up rooming with my sisters roommate from college, Lisa. Lisa was ok in the most part. She brought in attitude and tension into the apartment. We lived there for 6 months. Then we found a place near the zoo in March 1991. it was a nice place. Lisa was my roommate again - she had the bedroom downstairs and I had the whole attic to myself (it was a finished room that was as big as the whole apartment). Kelly(my sister) was itching to go to Denver in March 1991, Lisa went with her. I had a series of roommates in 1991 and 1992. The bad ones would stay 6 months and the good ones would last 2. The 1st roommate after lisa, she was great - thought she would stay but it turns out that she lived with me for 2 months and left to go home to New hampshire. From 1991-1997, I dated this real loser of a businessman. He helped me screen a lot of these roommates. The one that really bothered me the most was Lisa (yep, another lisa). She worked as a cocktail waitress and partied until god knows. She was also very vuluptuous. I personally think that my x bf slept with her while I was working or borrowed a lot of $$ from him. He wouldn't talk about it but when she left to go to florida, I wouldn't give her stuff back until she paid me her back $$ (I think she owed me $250.00). Pissed the movers off but eventuallyshe got her stuff after she paid me the $ (I think she got the $ from her father). I personally think that he got ahold of her somehow, told her HE would take her to court (John was very convincing) and she immediately paid me. When we talked on the phone, she wanted to take me to court because I was holding her stuff. Who knows what happened.
The final straw with Tom was in the winter of 1990, he seemed very indifferent. I think I saw him twice while he was home and the last time I saw him he was drunk! I brought him back to my 1st apartment and the entire time he complained that the apartment wasn't nice enough for his standards. I agreed with him and told him to be patient and that Lisa and I were moving into a better place but that wasn't so. the next time I saw him was when my hs friend Mary was getting married and we went out to this bar and he was there with a few nameless people and I think one of them was his girlfriend. He saw me and ran out the door, sprinted was more like it. Whats with these guys and them running away from me. What did I do to make Tom do that? that was definitely no excuse. I heard later that he was drinking and smoking pot quite a bit (which he did while he was on leave from the service). When he was in the service he got demoted from 1st class sargent to 2nd class sargent. He did get discharged, lived here in Buffalo for awhile but I think he moved back to Austin. I sometimes wonder about him to this day but I keep that wondering in the back of my mind.
anyways, John and I started out really happy. Did all the right things, treated me good at the beginning - he really cared for me. Then after awhile he started to put me down. I stayed with him and was faithful to him. He took me places, went to florida or to toronto. He belittled me. Because he was a finance major he didn't want me going back to school and bettering myself by taking loans. If I said something intelligent, he would make a joke out of it. He was constantly cheating on me with other women he met at bars. He would bring #'s home and show me (what woman wouldn't want a man who made 75,000 a year). Its just one relationship that I hope to never repeat. To this day, I think I am still suffering from the afteraffects of him. I am way over him but what I went through its still there. More about him at the next installment.
anyways, thats it for 1987-1991. I added 1991 to the mix because it was more of the same old same old from 1990. Next, I will lump 1992-1997 together, then 1998-2002, 2003-2006, then 2006-present. That will wrap it up.
I continued to work at my 1st job, full time summers and part time during school 1988, 1989. I worked from 1-5pm.
At the end of 1986, I joined a legion band. I drove some 40 miles one way to go to practice and to many parades in the summertime during the years 1986-1990. I almost didn't make the band because they felt that I wasn't good enough. I considered myself a good player but I had to compete with the people in the northern cities that were far better musicians than I was. They placed me last chair 2nd clarinet (what they did was alternate the 2nd and 3rd clarinet for concerts, which was fine by me). We also went to state parades in Lake Placid (it rained so hard that water was going though my instrument and I had to take my clarinet in to get all the pads replaced, I also forgot to bring a change of sneakers so I was stuck wearing soggy sneakers all weekend, yuck!). Then we went to legion band competitions which we always won. Louisville, Baltimore, there was a few others but I can't recall them. I got sick of marching in parades and missed many outdoor concerts after a few years. They didn't like it too much. The last straw was in 1990, the band decided to go to australia. I didn't have the $$. I returned my uniform to them and never came back. I still have my belt and hat. they were real pissed at me because I didn't return those but they stopped harassing me about it after a while.
I saw Tom the airforce guy again that xmas in 1987, 1988 and 1989. We made a pact that when he came home on leave we would see eachother but when we were apart we saw other people. More about him in 1990.
My friend Mary set me up with another guy friend, actually a friend of hers brother, Greg. I wasn't sure if I really liked him but eventually I really did. I was busy with the legion band and he was busy being a volunteer firefighter. We broke up some 5 months later. In some ways, I wish I would have faught for us to stay together. He was upset because I didn't see him or speak with him for 3 weeks. I know it was not a good way to break it off but I now realize just how busy the legion band had me. I think I was busy almost everyday of the week with them. Also, it turns out that I think he knew Tom from the Airforce because his best friend belonged to the same firehall as he did. How do I know? my old friend ruth. I was in her 2nd marraige wedding party and saw someone from the firehall. Ruth was friends with Tom and thats how we became friends. Anyways, to this day Greg will run the other direction if he sees me. I know when I lived in Orchard Park, he was still in the area so I know he was dodging me (probably pissed because I lived in the area). I remember about a month after we broke it off, I was out with some friends at a local bar. He and his friends walked in - the minute he saw me, he goes running out the door. I mean a sprint. Last I heard Greg had gotten married but his so called wife slept with the best man and he got it annuled. I think he spent some time in Texas (for what I have no idea). He was in town for alittle while. I don't know if he was in town while I lived in Orchard Park but I am sure he was dodging me if he was in town. I probably pissed him off. Thats all I remember.
1987 and 1988 finished without any excitement. Still lived at home but my brother and I switched rooms (he got the bigger room and I got his old smaller room). Aunt Joni got me into counted cross stitch and made some very nice patterns. One pattern in particular - a goose. I framed and gave it to my mother. She still has it hanging in the hallway. Its a real nice picture with alphabets along the boarder. The company I worked for in the summer of 1988, laid me off for about 2 months. Back in the 1980's I actually had to to to unemployment, sign in on a card in order to get paid (none of this calling in for benefit claims). It was a real pain in the butt but I went to visit Peggy (the one who I went to Toronto with all the time), she lived in Dunkirk with her mother so I got to visit with her quite a bit. I eventually got called back to work.
I got into my 1st accident in the summer of1988 with my hyundai. It was a great 1st car. Loved the sunroof. 5 speed manual. It was great. I was coming to a stop sign but overcorrected myself and ran into a utility vehicle. I was so upset. I did get it taken care of. That car was great for along while. I put on 86,000 miles in 3 years. thats a lot of driving. More about the car below.
1989 went ok. Same old same old. I started to look for other work. The job was getting to me and I knew it was time for me to fly away. Mom was encouraging me for most of 1988 and 1989 to look for something else. The company wasn't gonna promote me or put me anywhere else. Aunt Joni knew it was time for me to go. I was sick of working with family. The company had other family members there, brother brother, sister mother, aunt sister in law daughter. Brother sister. husband wife. Jeesh..you get my point. What I decided to do is apply at some temp agencies and go on interviews that way. Finally in the winter of 1989, I got a job as a receptionist at a law firm in downtown buffalo. So I started just after new years in 1990. By then, I was going part time at ECC - doing fairly well. Still on probation due to my grade point average. I was getting burned out and I knew my days at ECC were numbered. So in the Winter of 1990, I quit college all together. I couldn't finish and couldn't crawl up from probation. Yes, Mom and Dad were not happy but I promised them that I would eventually get my degree but didn't know when. I did take classes to help me get an office job - keyboarding, accounting.
Anyways, I started the lawfirm in January 1990. Started out good. I was actually hired as a relief receptionist and accounting clerk. The actual receptionist was a total bitch - her name was Kim. She ailienated me from the rest of the group. I felt like I was way over my head with the switchboard. The phones never stopped ringing. It went from small town company to high end corporate city law firm. Talk about a culture shock. I ate lunches by myself. I also helped the accountant with some accounting work. That the best thing about the job, I thrived on that. The girls in that area were super nasty to me. They never liked me working in their area and were very viscious. Finally 90 days later, in early April 1990 - the partners voted me out and I was terminated from the job. I collected unemployment again. I also got dumped again by this guy I saw for a short time. Losing a job and losing someone I liked wasn't the greatest. I guess deep down he didn't want a girlfriend to be unemployed (I guess that is one of the reasons why I don't get involved with anyone today because I am unemployed because of Jeff and the situation he put me in). Anyways, I wasn't unemployed for very long - I sent my resume everywhere. A small office supply company called me in for an interview as a dispatcher. I got along with the manager pretty well and he was so impressed that he referred me to another job - inventory/invoice clerk. I had an interview with the accountant and got the job. Meanwhile, this one girl in dispatch had it out for me really bad. She did everything in her power to sabatage me. She was always in my managers office telling him that I did this and that. Eventually the whole accounting department alienated me too. The only support system I had at that company was the guys in computer supply and the copier techs. Even the computer techs were on the fence with me. I also helped out for breaks and lunches on the switchboard (I did ok with that). One of the computer techs was so arrogant and nasty that he repremanded me on the phone because I couldn't say the opening greeting. I had to say "welcome to Larry Smith Office equipment, how can I help you". I have never felt so unappreciated at that company in all my life!! I was always in the managers office getting repremanded and chastized over and over again. They never trusted my work. They gave me extremely low self esteem. I had no one to stick up for me. The head manager turned his back to me all the time. His partner was constantly yelling in his office because he was blaming me about something that wasn't done right. They forbid me to take a second job, while it was ok for Kristie to have one. I needed a 2nd job because I had moved out of my parents house. I did get a 2nd job alright as a nursing home receptionist. Eventually, things got so bad that they terminated me there too. I lasted from 7/1990-4/1991.
In October 1990, I moved to the elmwood area of Buffalo. It wasn't too bad in the daytime but at night it was a scarry place to be. I wound up rooming with my sisters roommate from college, Lisa. Lisa was ok in the most part. She brought in attitude and tension into the apartment. We lived there for 6 months. Then we found a place near the zoo in March 1991. it was a nice place. Lisa was my roommate again - she had the bedroom downstairs and I had the whole attic to myself (it was a finished room that was as big as the whole apartment). Kelly(my sister) was itching to go to Denver in March 1991, Lisa went with her. I had a series of roommates in 1991 and 1992. The bad ones would stay 6 months and the good ones would last 2. The 1st roommate after lisa, she was great - thought she would stay but it turns out that she lived with me for 2 months and left to go home to New hampshire. From 1991-1997, I dated this real loser of a businessman. He helped me screen a lot of these roommates. The one that really bothered me the most was Lisa (yep, another lisa). She worked as a cocktail waitress and partied until god knows. She was also very vuluptuous. I personally think that my x bf slept with her while I was working or borrowed a lot of $$ from him. He wouldn't talk about it but when she left to go to florida, I wouldn't give her stuff back until she paid me her back $$ (I think she owed me $250.00). Pissed the movers off but eventuallyshe got her stuff after she paid me the $ (I think she got the $ from her father). I personally think that he got ahold of her somehow, told her HE would take her to court (John was very convincing) and she immediately paid me. When we talked on the phone, she wanted to take me to court because I was holding her stuff. Who knows what happened.
The final straw with Tom was in the winter of 1990, he seemed very indifferent. I think I saw him twice while he was home and the last time I saw him he was drunk! I brought him back to my 1st apartment and the entire time he complained that the apartment wasn't nice enough for his standards. I agreed with him and told him to be patient and that Lisa and I were moving into a better place but that wasn't so. the next time I saw him was when my hs friend Mary was getting married and we went out to this bar and he was there with a few nameless people and I think one of them was his girlfriend. He saw me and ran out the door, sprinted was more like it. Whats with these guys and them running away from me. What did I do to make Tom do that? that was definitely no excuse. I heard later that he was drinking and smoking pot quite a bit (which he did while he was on leave from the service). When he was in the service he got demoted from 1st class sargent to 2nd class sargent. He did get discharged, lived here in Buffalo for awhile but I think he moved back to Austin. I sometimes wonder about him to this day but I keep that wondering in the back of my mind.
anyways, John and I started out really happy. Did all the right things, treated me good at the beginning - he really cared for me. Then after awhile he started to put me down. I stayed with him and was faithful to him. He took me places, went to florida or to toronto. He belittled me. Because he was a finance major he didn't want me going back to school and bettering myself by taking loans. If I said something intelligent, he would make a joke out of it. He was constantly cheating on me with other women he met at bars. He would bring #'s home and show me (what woman wouldn't want a man who made 75,000 a year). Its just one relationship that I hope to never repeat. To this day, I think I am still suffering from the afteraffects of him. I am way over him but what I went through its still there. More about him at the next installment.
anyways, thats it for 1987-1991. I added 1991 to the mix because it was more of the same old same old from 1990. Next, I will lump 1992-1997 together, then 1998-2002, 2003-2006, then 2006-present. That will wrap it up.
Replies