IVF now

I have no idea what is going in here...Everytime I think AF is coming it does not then I do a preganacy test and it comes up negative. We finally decided to do the IVF for March so that we can finally say that we tried everything. If it does not work, then I can mourn my fertility without thinking about the what ifs. Part of me wants to have a child so badly that believing that I am infertile is not an option. The other part of me just wants to give up and become a mother through adoption. I am so scared that my body will not respond to the drugs like the last time. I know that I have to loose 20lb for my fertility to increase, and that is what I am trying to do now. The homeopath was wonderful and made me feel so much better...all those drugs from before were draging me down...my emotions were insane. I am afraid that once March happens I will be in that awful state of mind again because the drugs are stronger than before. Well I guess in May or so we will finally have our answer.Please pray that I get AF soon.