Its true I hurt too, remember I love you (censored edition)

This is the censored version. She wants to know which one you all prefer. Please comment. ThanksIt’s true I hurt too, remember I love you  He sat there, feeling alone, the room was warm but he felt so cold. He couldn’t help thinking that it was his fault. That would always rest on his shoulders. If he hadn’t gone round to her house that day then she would still be here. He loved her, he always would and he missed her. He used to be love struck; now he’s just messed up. That’s what everyone would say if they could see him now, tears running down his cheeks, his heart shattered.                                                                                                He had stopped by her house which was on the turning between the train station and their secondary school. Adam had hopped the fence as usual because he knew that if he walked round to the front of the house he would have to face a hundred questions from Selene’s mother about why he never came round anymore. He couldn’t face her today. His emotions had been all over the place since he had run into Selene earlier. The dark vacant look to her eyes had proclaimed to him just how deeply he had hurt her, gone were the sparkling green eyes that many a time he had so lovingly looked into. Now all that was there was pain and sorrow and a yearning wanting for things to be how they had been just a couple of weeks before. Adam had lost track of how many things had gone wrong in the past week. Adam proceeded to walk round to the window that he knew for a fact was her bedroom. He rapped lightly on the window and waited for her to answer. He played nervously with his black hair, gently pushing his fringe out of his eyes and then flipping it back with a slight shake of his head.  The window scraped against the old wood of the frame and he heard Selene’s voice say in a pitiful quietness. “It’s open now, you know how to get in”. He entered the surprising darkness of her room. It was unusually quiet. And it smelt vaguely of stale cigarettes. Adam’s grey blue eyes darted quickly around the room. It had changed since he had last been in here and that was only a week or so ago. He looked Selene up and down. Her long red hair was unkempt and slightly curly at the ends from where she had obviously not been bothered to straighten it. She looked as if she had been crying. Eyeliner lay in thick streams down her pale cheeks. Her clothes seemed to hang of her slim frame. Her appearance upset him greatly. He loved her, she probly didn’t think it but he did. She was his world. It was killing him to know that he had hurt her, but the last few months had been painful for them both.  “So, why did you come?” her voice brought him back with a jolt. She sounded fragile and broken. “I…I needed to talk to you” he replied. Selene sat on the end of bed. Staring at him. He walked over to her slowly his Vans shuffling against the black carpet of her room. Adam sat next to her, she turned towards him her eyes filled with a dark hope and a love that hadn’t seemed to have been killed by the emotional torment. “It’s true I hurt too, Remember I love you” Adam stated gently. She turned away from him. “You mean the world to me Adam, you really do. I don’t know what I’ll….I’ll do with you” Tears started to flow from her eyes as she said it. He turned her towards him and kissed her gently. “ I’m sorry about everything, I really do love you but after everything we’ve been through. I don’t want to put you through anything else” Adam almost whispered it. Selene leaned her head towards his chest. The scent of her perfume made his heart beat faster. Memories of everything raced through his mind. Selene looked more alive laying in his arms right there then she had looked for the past week. He knew damn well that she had been taking her pain out on herself. Her eyes told it and her body would most likely proclaim it. He knew that she had probly spent the past week or so in her room drinking and self harming. He knew what she was like. Anything to make her forget, just take her mind of things. Selene gazed up at him; He could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She turned slowly and leaned up towards him, she kissed him passionately and from that moment they both knew what would happen, and they both knew that it would hurt them both more in the long run. They loved each other, he knew that and she knew that. Thoughts of the past week seemed totally irrelevant as one thing seemed to lead to another. Both their souls burned with a strong desire, just one last blissful moment. They knew it would all change tomorrow, but for the moment they loved each other and that was that. All the unhappiness of the previous week faded away as their bodies were intertwined.  Afterwards as Adam’s fingers traced circles on Selene’s soft ivory skin he couldn’t help but think that everything they had gone through together was worth the love they felt for each other. Then his fingers began to trace the fresh cuts on Selene’s hips and he began to remember just how much he had hurt her, he knew that she wanted this but he also knew that this would do neither of them any good. The cuts on Selene’s hips showed the effect of their break up the previous week and the old scars showed the effects of their relationship.  As much as they loved each other Adam couldn’t help but think that all they seemed to do was hurt each other. “You’ll never know how much I love you,” Selene’s tired voice came from beside him. He gazed at her as she lent over to her right and pulled out a deck of cigarettes from the bedside draw. “Do you want one? “She said as she offered them to him. Adam took one, twirled it between his fingers and placed it between his lips. She held a lighter to it for him, the flame licking and dancing in her dimly lit room. The she lit her own. Adam still gazed at her as she took a long drag and then exhaled. She flicked her long red hair to the side and looked over at him. “Why do you keep staring at me?” Selene seemed more cheerful now, a cheerful smile played at the side of her pale lips. “No reason, I was just thinking….” He said. His eyes moved to dart around the room. “Thinking about what?” Selene’s voice sounded worried. “Nothing really, I was just wondering if, well if you’d go back out with me? I know well just end up hurting each other again but the simple fact of the matter is that….well...I love you,” Adam stated quickly. Selene just stared at him, a face filled with awe and shock at what he had just asked.She took another drag on her fag and pondered his question for a moment. She looked at him. Studying everything about him. The way he took a drag on his cigarette, the way his hair fell in front of his eyes and how he seemed so comfortable to be laying there next to her. Almost as if nothing had happened between them in the past week. Everything was just like it used to be.  Selene got up out of the bed quickly and crossed the room. She rummaged in the drawers on the other side of the room for some clean clothes, quickly pulling out some black jeans and a plain black t-shirt. She stood across the room from Adam, thinking. Adam looked at her noticing how her brow was creasing in thought. Selene glanced at him. She loved him, she needed him.Adam watched her as she crossed the room and came to stand at the end of the bed. The words that she spoke next shocked him to his core. “Adam, honey, I’m sorry. I can’t have you in my life. I love you and I need you but I don’t need the heartache that has been caused. I’m sorry and honey, I hurt too remember I love you” she said in a tone that spoke to him with conviction. He could only think that she had her reasons but that did not make the pain he felt hurt him any less. “Can you...um...get your things please and leave…” Selene spoke again she sounded vague and distracted to him.  With that Adam gathered up his things and left Selene on her own, in her room. He exited through her window just so Selene’s mother could not see the hurt in his eyes and the tears beginning to well.  That was the last time Adam ever saw Selene, he went round to see her the next day. To try to talk things through. But when he got there he found out that she had decided to move in with her father. Maybe she did it to get away from everything. The memories that haunted everywhere. For whatever the reason she had gone. He didn’t see her again after that day. And now Adam is alone, he will never love anyone as much as he loved Selene and they both know that they will never forget each other.