Its the day of Informaion 411

Today is 411 I guess you can call it an information super highway day.  I have been ordering some books and DVD’s from amazon.com and if they come today to my mailbox labeled as 360 then I might find some useful information inside.  I can’t wait to get the NIN beside you in time DVD it will be some of the best therapy I could have.  I can’t believe that this is my first month on SSDI and the whole check is almost spent.  I had to pay of bills for the most part. I bought some healthy food and also bought a few things to entertain myself and try to keep my mind stimulated while staying at my parents.  It gets boring here but there are only a few things that I can do. I need to try and be more constructive and write some poetry or music.  I am getting a set of congas next month for my birthday; I hope that will give me a great outlet so I can divert my stress into playing them or working out.  Lately I have been working out and getting more energy than ever.  I still have my gut that I gained from being on these stupid meds but in time I am praying that it will shrink up some so my old clothes can fit.  It’s embarrassing whenever you have a lot of nice clothes from a year ago and none of them will fit L  I had to use some of my SSDI on clothes also.  I am so happy that I have not had a bad episode in a while now, I think that my life is slowly but surely getting on the right side of things, but I know with this illness it is very manipulative and that everything can be going for you and then the next day everything can be going against you, so I have to take pride in the good days and try to find outlets on the bad ones.  It’s tough to say I fully understand my disorder because I don’t think shrinks can really give you a good definition for it.  Everyday I learn more about myself and about this world.  It is messed up just as bad as my life is. It’s crazy Wars , school shootings, all these new diseases it’s somewhat depressing. I guess I have to worry about my own problems before I can take the worlds problems in my hands but it’s so hard not to think about.  Well I am done blogging for the time being. Maybe something will happen special on this 4/11.