its monday again

its monday morning again Joe and I am still alone here and the house is soooo cold. You know the winters in here were always cold for me. I longed for you to pull the covers up over me in the middle of the night like you always did. I want to feel that kiss on my head and hear you whisper I love you. You always thought I was sleeping, but I felt and heard you and I loved every second of your protection.
I listened to music on the ipod in bed last night and looked at your picture and cried. You eyes are staring at me in that picture on my nightstand and I just want you to pop out of the photo and be back in my life.
All of a sudden my ex Brian's family is back in my life. Crystal got back in touch with them, and her cousins and she seems very happy. My sister in law Maddy has pancreatic cancer and I know that it is a serious type. Maybe you can push some prayers on her so she does not have to leave her girls and husband alone?
Why have all your friends not called here? Richie and Pete have not made one visit or call to me at all? It is so strange. Do I remind them of you and make them hurt or are they angry at something? Billy always calls to see how I am and Haga once in awhile. I wish I heard from the others, it hurts not to hear from them at all. It hurst worse that CJ and Mark have not called even once to say hi. I know CJ always disliked me. I think he felt that I was taking you from them, but that was not true. You know I always did what I coudl for them at all times. I really need them in my life right now and I hope the come around.
Love and miss you so very much ME!

Replies

Nicker07
Nicker07

For some reason those you felt would be there, and wish for just can not do it - but there suddenly becomes those in the back ground that come forward and help amazingly. I hope someone like that comes forward for you.
I understand the house so cold.....mine is too. Take care....
annier1071
annier1071

Oh I hope so Nick. I am so bad today between Joe gone and now I found out from a distant friend of joes that his best friends are not calling me because Joes son has pretty much made me sound like the evil wife. They dont want to get inbetween our issues. I have not done a thing to his sons. I was always there to help them in the 11 years I know Joe. I dont knwo what to do anymore. I pretty much gave up my own friends when I moved out to queens into Joes house. I gained his friends and their wives and his family out here. Now , not one of them cares or calls to check in on me at all. I get so upset when people dislike me for any reason. I hope this is not true..I have such a good heart..that is the reason Joe wanted to marry me. Sometimes I give it away to a fault I guess.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Anne, I\'m so sorry that friends are not reaching out to you when you need them to so much. It always seems that way. And nicker is right on. the people you had no doubt about being there, are usually the ones who are not. But people come out of nowhere, and they become your true angels in life. I think it has happened to so many of us here, and why we know it so well. Joe picked YOU to marry. He was a fine man. He picked YOU to marry. that in itself makes YOU special. dont EVER forget that. no matter what happens HE PICKED you!!! Love, and hopes for your angel to come very soon. diane
annier1071
annier1071

Diane

My daughter has been my angel. Last night she called me and said she was outside my door! She said she took off today and we went otu to long island and picked out a new couch for her and looked at furniture pretending we were righ. She would have bought me anything I wanted but I just like looking at everything. Then she took me back to her apartment here in brooklyn for the weekend again. It was nice to have her next to me sleeping last nigth at my house. Even my cat loved it. She slept between us under the covers!! Everyone on here have been my angels and have given me so much love. I am a bit frightened the my ex husband from 12 years ago came out of nowhere and started offering to move to queens to help me out!! Now I am getting 20 calls a day from him and it is overwhelming.I guess with Joe around to protect me I am open to all this once again.Joe was my saviour and took me away from all the past torture I went through. I am stronger now because of Joe and will never allow my ex to harm me again. He left me with his sense of strength and I will remember it always. Ann