its calming down some

This month has been harrowing to say the least. BUT! Its gotten better the last couple of days. I have to make some appointments today to help me get back on track. My wife is out of the hospital..my mom still is. I have cutoff all contact with my two brothers. One is his will the other is mine. I am planning on spending more time doing the things I love....writing, listening to music, cooking and baking. I have a couple of books that I wanna read. One I've started. My mind has been in so much turmoil that I really need to try and quiet my mind. Those things I listed will help. I'm sleeping good..maybe too good. My dreams are intense and vivid. I haven't heard any voices in my mind for a few days..maybe because I've been so centered on caring for my folks when I was in Florida and now caring for my wife. Not hearing the voices has been nice as they are a constant barrage of violence and chaos. I'm kinda "flat" feeling. I am not excited, anxious, depressed, sad or happy...just flat. I have decided to leave the church and now I've also decided to leave the group I attend. I love the church and all and I try to conform to every detail and I agree with the details but one thing is making it hard and that one thing is what's gonna make me "go away". Its sad really that one thing can take me away from something I love so much. I still love Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ and will read the scriptures...but I must worship Him on my own. I know that's wrong...trust me I know.