Its been awhile

I was looking at my past journal entries and didn't realize it had been so long since I had been on here. I still struggle on a daily basis being without him. It seems I put out one fire and a different one starts. I am seeing a doctor next week to see about getting something to help me make it through the bad days. My allergies have been giving me all kinds of hell this season already. I just feel like everything is going wrong. I was joking with a friend the other day about wanting to just get really drunk so that maybe my problems could go away even if only for a few hours but I know that wont work. Good thing is we are down to 13 months till he is home but then I start thinking about what will happen when he comes home. How hard is the supervised release going to be. Atleast they garnished my income tax this year so his fines are all paid up. I didn't get to do anything I had planned with that money but his fines are paid. He has started calling me in the morning which make my days go by faster but the nights seem to be getting longer. I feel like a spoiled brat complaining about all these little things but all these little things have added up on me over time. Thank you for taking time to read this and letting me vent. I know a lot of people are going through the same if not worse than me.