its been a while

Well, its been a while since ive written anything.  My med cocktail works occasionally.  I think my p doc has to tweak it once again.  it's been over a year and 8 moths that ive felt good for 10 days at the most.a sad state of affairs.  Ive been staying sober.At least alcoholically so.  Still munching down the perc (beans) like crazy tho.  They at least make me feel some what "normal'.  I decided to munch some when i didnt really need them to feel better.  Something about those beans.  i know there are others who can relate.  H is beeing really cool to me.  he came home with a dozen roses for no reason.  he said its just because he  love me.  some would think i have no reason to be depressed but those who understand the illness know that certain shit just doesnt matter no matter what.  a roguh illness  to be dealing with. I love all my peeps.