Its been a week

monday;1212 am uk timeit's been a week haven't enter in my journal.it has been a  busy, lonely week.except wednesday when we took my godchild out for her 2nd birthday.we had a nice day in the park.she is a bundle of joy.she's only 2 but i can feel the happiness in her everytime she sees me and during this time of my sorrow it helps to know that i'm making someone happy,even just this innocent child.friday was frustrating.i attended her celebration as per her mum's request.and if not for my godchild i wouldn't come anymore as i was already with them wednesday.but anyway,it was a big party:lots of food and people.i felt i was at the middle of nowhere.and trying my best to be happy eventhough i know deep inside i want to scream and cry.  on the other hand i know i have to do this.and i think am pushing myself too hard to move on.