Its been a month since she left

She left a month ago.  How am I feeling right now?
Im still anxious about the future.  Every morning I wake up missing her.  I still cant believe this is happening but Im not really surprised either.
I still love her and dont understand all the changes she has made in the past few years.
My boys are struggling even if they dont show it sometimes.  I feel the worst for them.  I was a child of divorce and I know it doest ever really end.  In some ways the divorce will follow them the rest of their lives like my parents did me. 
I have been focusing on getting my home in order and making it mine.  Its gonna take some money which I dont have but it will give me something to work towards. 
I keep trying to think of stuff I could not do before that I can now.  I hope something comes to me.
Im going to sign some more divorce papers this afternoon.  One step closer to going from a husband to an ex-husband.