Its been 1 week

My husband left me on a saturday. Honestly I only expected him to be gone for a few days but hes resolved himself to find a place. I am devastated. I dont want this marriage to end. I want to fight to keep him. He is so angry though. He feels i constrict him. How can i fight for him when he doesnt want to hear it?

I honestly felt so angry last night that i contemplated everything I could possibly do to harm myself. I ugly cried and everything. I was at complete zero. The only thing saving me is that I love my daughter and I love my job. This is hard. Seperation or divorce is the last thing i want. My husband just so casually moved on within one day. I dont know how to handle it.

I want to fix everything an just hold him and I cant.

I fight back tears at work. My friends are already getting sick of me at this point. I need someone to listen to me. Someone pleasejustify my feelings! I feel its me against the world at the moment.

Why does my husband get to have friends and be happy and I dont? Hes forced me off social media because he says im seeking sympathy. Uhm.. hello. I went from being in someones world 24-7 to alone. I need sympathy. I need a hug. I need someone to tell me its okay. 

When does this feeling end? I dont want to be cynical. I dont want to get over it!