Its almost V day and 4 months that I lost you
What a strange thing. Valentine's day will be four months that I lost you. I put up all the beautiful v day card you bought me last year. It was our first year as husband and wife so we both went overboard with the wife and husband cards! I am so happy that we did.
I brought you white roses to the cemetary yesterday. Sorry they are not real but that is the policy of the cemetery. I am going to buy myself some flowers from you and look at them all day. I know you would have showered me with love. I realized that after 12 years I am still wearing the heart you bought me on our first valentines day. I had only known you a few weeks and you surprised me with a teddy bear and this beautiful heart necklace around it. You also had three boxes of candy, one for me and the others for my daughters. You were so sweet to think of them when we only knew each other such a short time.
I try to think of the happy memories to keep me living each day. You know I am so horribly stressed with all that his happening legally with your family. They are talking about me and spreading rumours to each other that I have taken all your money and left your boys broke. I cry all the time. This is so not true Joe, and you know I would never hurt your sons. I know that they are not broke and you left them very well off, so why would they make it look like I was harming them? I cannot even survive on what I have now. I can no longer go to get food at all and feel so strange when everyones asks me if I need to pick up food before they bring me home. I am embarassed to say I do not have the money any longer.
I know I need to put the house up for sale so the mortgage will get paid off and I will be out of this extreme debt, but everywhere I look I keep thinking that things may change. I guess it is best since only your family lives out here an they will not talk to me at all. I have to go back to brooklyn with my own family and friends again. Please give me the strength to do it and to get this house prepared for sale. I have to paint all the rooms and it is hard to do when my world is always tipping and spinning on me. What will I do with all of our things Joe? The furniture was hand me downs so I can get rid of it, but we bought so many new things just for our new life together. If I go back to my old apartment with Nicole for a bit I guess I will have to find a storage unit somewhere. I cannot give up your things right now..too much loss in such a short time.
I love you baby~~ it is friday. You left me on a friday right after midnight. I pray you are healthy and happy in paradise. ME~
I brought you white roses to the cemetary yesterday. Sorry they are not real but that is the policy of the cemetery. I am going to buy myself some flowers from you and look at them all day. I know you would have showered me with love. I realized that after 12 years I am still wearing the heart you bought me on our first valentines day. I had only known you a few weeks and you surprised me with a teddy bear and this beautiful heart necklace around it. You also had three boxes of candy, one for me and the others for my daughters. You were so sweet to think of them when we only knew each other such a short time.
I try to think of the happy memories to keep me living each day. You know I am so horribly stressed with all that his happening legally with your family. They are talking about me and spreading rumours to each other that I have taken all your money and left your boys broke. I cry all the time. This is so not true Joe, and you know I would never hurt your sons. I know that they are not broke and you left them very well off, so why would they make it look like I was harming them? I cannot even survive on what I have now. I can no longer go to get food at all and feel so strange when everyones asks me if I need to pick up food before they bring me home. I am embarassed to say I do not have the money any longer.
I know I need to put the house up for sale so the mortgage will get paid off and I will be out of this extreme debt, but everywhere I look I keep thinking that things may change. I guess it is best since only your family lives out here an they will not talk to me at all. I have to go back to brooklyn with my own family and friends again. Please give me the strength to do it and to get this house prepared for sale. I have to paint all the rooms and it is hard to do when my world is always tipping and spinning on me. What will I do with all of our things Joe? The furniture was hand me downs so I can get rid of it, but we bought so many new things just for our new life together. If I go back to my old apartment with Nicole for a bit I guess I will have to find a storage unit somewhere. I cannot give up your things right now..too much loss in such a short time.
I love you baby~~ it is friday. You left me on a friday right after midnight. I pray you are healthy and happy in paradise. ME~
Replies
So sorry for your pain and suffering. Sometimes life just isn\'t fair. I am sorry his family is not being kind - that must be so hard. Take care, I hope and pray things work out for you.
-MJ
I am sorry, Annie that you are going through all this. I will ask God to bless you, extra blessings for you..to pull you through this. Tight hugs..
Annie, I\'m so sorry for all the trouble with his family. The last thing you need right now is even more stress than you already have. You have a good plan, and you know what needs to be done. You have to focus on YOU as hard as that is, and know that Joe is cheering you on to do what is right for YOU. He knows what the family is doing, and they should be ashamed of themselves, but it is just the way some families can be.
The description of your very first VD is so beautiful right down to the chocolates for his soon to be stepdaughters!! What love you all had, and I\'m glad you are trying to remember all that now. He was a special man!!!
My hopes, and wishes for all to work out, you be back among friendly family, and friends, and get some much needed de stressing so the spinning can ease a bit. Not good for you I know.
Love, and hugs to you Annie, and know he is with you. I look at my cards too, and we only had one together as well married and he had already passed. But I have the cards we both purchased and they mean more than ANYTHING!! Diane
Annie, I am so sorry for everything you are going through. It is hard enough to go through without the added stress of the in-laws. You know the truth so focus on that as unfortunately we can not be responsible for others....even though it does hurt.
You need to do what you think is right for you and know that Joe will be with you every step of the way......hugs
Annie, it is so distressing to read of your intense pain and suffering! His family sure sound spoiled and heaartless. Isn\'t there some state agency you can apply to for help? This is not the time to let your pride get in the way-you must survive. Joe sees what they are doing to you. Maybe he will appear to them in a dream and set them straight. I hope you find the strength to get through this.
I got the papers today from my estate lawyer to sign if I want to file for my legal right to 1/3 of my husbands estate. I am so afraid, why?
I cannot seem to get it through my head that I was his wife and surely entitled to live, the same way his sons will. What is wrong with me? My head says to sign and file the papers in court, but my heart still feels for the boys...even with there hatred toward me and the horrible things they have said to everyone.
My Joe used to get so angry at me since I was alway a wimp and never stood up for myself. Is this his way of making me stronger? If he had only updated the will this would never have happened. He kept putting it off, maybe it was his way of making me do whats right for me..teaching me a lesson in a very hard way.
Do I take what is mine, or do I let it go. I am just afraid that I will not be legally covered if I do not file and the family will try and hurt me further financially. Give me strength Joe please
Annie, so many decisions.....maybe it is Joe\'s way of making you stronger...to stand up for what is yours!!! It sounds like the family already thinks you have taken his money and things and are not very sensitive to your feelings...so what do you have to lose ?? Sorry just my venting and throwing in my 2 cents.........wish you all the best......hugs
Annie, after all we\'ve been through, you would expect the world to be kinder to us, but sometimes a bad situation just gets worse, but know that you will be stronger when you recover from all of this -- this is by far the hardest test we will ever go through, in the midst of our despair, we find out that we are more resilient than we thought we were, that we can do things we never thought we could do and thus our new self unfolds. , You need to survive and your husband would want you to have your rightful share of his estate. Don\'t be afraid, Joe is there to guide you and protect you. Hugs! Connie
Ann, You are not alone God is there with you and so are His angels protecting you.
Hugs,
Judy