Its a new dawn its a new day

Today I will go on to change my medications. It may help to boost my mood by a stabler and I am willing to let my doc have a go at the adhd medication thearpy again. My brains are like mush lately and I feel uncontrollable urges again to cut to feel the burn of the needle going in brings pain and with pain pleasure. My brains are all messed up from using a needle top everday into my torn tummy I feel like a pin cushion. I remember the words of my first true thearpist. A man who worked with me to help me get over my fear of men I perfer to work with a man thearpist, because it is assential to my rexcovery. I perfer  aman over a woman thearpist, because to me a man can tell me what to do in certian situations and be more assertive with them. I am able to say no Not interested when before I'd do just say about anything to get attention negative or positive. I was just so sick of being neglected. I needed more intensive care than the rentals could do so they sent me away to get better. I did eventually. I had to breathe and remember where I come from so I never go back. I never want to look at a bad past who does? I cannot since I cannot change the past I can learn from it and grow.