IT was WONDERFUL ...

My oldest son, after 23 years of not spending more than 1/2 hr with him, called me on the phone, out of the blue, to ask me to dinner two days later. I told him that I already had plans ( I spend every Saturday with my 2 grand daughters age 7 & 8 & my youngest daughter who works for me as my care giver.) He said that if I wanted to come to dinner with him it would have to be on a Saturday so i should figure out one that i could spend time with him on and call him back then.
When I did call him back he wasn't very hospitable. I mentioned I would love to see his home as I had never seen it before he actually remarked, "What do you want - I am talking to you on the phone aren't I" Needless to say after he dropped that 'attitude remark" I really felt like I was dreading the whole thing.( I actually likened it to the sick feeling I would get in my stomach when I was sent to the principal's office when I was in high school!)
Arrangements were made for that next Saturday. I rearranged some previous plans I had made and made other arrangements for my grand daughters to come at 3pm instead since my son's time together was for lunch.
Anyways the whole family picked me up in their SUV. My son wedged himself in the back seat between his young children's car seats. It is a small SUV. We drove to his HOUSE, sort of,. they live in a beautiful elegant type of townhouse complex. It was a small two-story, 3 bedroom, 2 baths with a finished game room. It was nicely furnished casual Family style perfect for 2 small children and a big Boxer dog named Romeo! (He loves me!)We had a nice lunch.. His wife prepared roast beef lunch meat in a slow cooker with a couple of cans of onion soup. They put it on a long French roll with a nice thick slice of Provolone cheese. We had an icy drink of tea mixed with lemonade. We sat down as a Family - all together at the table. My son at the head, I ws opposite from him. His wife near the kitchen, of course. And my grandson, age 4, to my left with the baby, 11mos, in her high chair by Daddy, who fed her little scraps of meat & cheese.I had a tour of the house with my daughter-in-law. Amazing he married a girl with the same tastes in decorating as me!! (And she is as nice as me too!) When we got to my Grandson's' room - He went nuts! That boy just couldn't get enough of his "new" NaNa !! My grand daughter was a little shy but by the time it was time for me to leave - She had begun to warm up to me! My Ggrandson pounded on his drum set with his drumsticks - You could tell by the look on my daughter-in-law's face that those had to be a gift from someone else!! lolI had an enjoyable stay..Turns out it was nap time for the kids. and Daddy did have to got to work after all. So I felt privileged as he had to work til past midnight the night before. He is a kitchen manager for a restaurant/catering business (Took after his mama - a professional cook & former line chef in Vegas prop to college in the 90s) Previously he had stated that "all plans would be off if he had to cater".In the car on the way home we talked about "everything". And best of all, unlike the rest of my other children, he let me talk also. He talked and as he talked about not having me in his life the tears rolled down his cheeks. I reached over and he let me hold his hand. I told him how I had tried to attend open house at the school and was asked to leave bec my ex had barred me from the school. I told him how my public defender never even mentioned the then available joint custody and only got me gradual partial & that he was too old for me to get visits with through Family Court. I told him when I came back & stole the leisure van & my 3 girls that I couldn't find him or his brother. That they were at soccer & I didn't know.. I told him that I had held out for he & his brother when offered just the custody of the girls. and how his father had tricked me by lying about returning the girls if I let them visit.He told me how his father had to work 3 jobs & was never home in order to care for them all. I pointed out to him that his one main job would have been more than enough money for them to live comfortably - That my ex never did want to be home with them even when I lived there he was never home. he admitted that he had always wondered about that.And, last of all, I apologized for leaving him with the man I couldn't stand to be with bec after it was all said & done, I couldn't get them back. He said that that was the one thing he had wanted to hear bec he could never understand how I could do that to them. I explained to him about postpartum depression and why it had all happened with 7 pregnancies, including delivering a dead embryo and a miscarriage; the death of my mother 3 wks before my babies and the sudden illness & death of my best bud, my father in law, subsequesntly, 6 mos later after the birth of my last child at 40.He apologized to me for being bitter and not continuing our relationship when he came of age. We hugged and cried. and then he had to got to work. After I left the car, he rolled down the window and called out to me And when I turned around he said, "Mom, you're not alone anymore."NDY

Replies

sammycat2
sammycat2

OMG, this is so wonderful and touching. It gives me some hope since I am on and off estranged from my only son who is 46 yrs old. Basically, I left him to live with his Dad when he was 8 yrs old. I was the visiting parent, and I would see him weekly. He claims that he was happy to have 2 homes, but there were many more complications in my life (in love with someone else for one, too young to have a child at age 20, etc.) He has never resolved his anger since, and I fear that he never will. We have a very rocky relationship, and currently he is not speaking to me. We argue and fight constantly, I just don\'t think I can put up with his anger any longer. So happy that you can now have a relationship that you have longed for for. I wish you all peace and happiness.
foxysdad
foxysdad

That is so great! I don\'t know your history, but, now, I realize how good a person you are. I\'m glad you made the connection. Maybe this will be the start of something really good. It\'s quite a blessing.
LuvMyTitans
LuvMyTitans

What a wonderful, touching journal...... I have tears in my eyes just reading this, knowing what it must have meant to you to see him and his family and be able to share time with them. For you to be able to open up and talk and share your heart is a wonderful thing. I hope this a new beginning for you and your son and his family. I am so so happy for you....... biggest hugs in the world......... Love you GURL. xoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user

Good for you, NDY. I\'m so lad you had this opportunity, and that you could share it with us. Hugs to you.
bgoodwin44
bgoodwin44

Hi There,

I\'m So Very Happy, For You And Your Son !

I Have 2 Sons Myself, I Understand All Of This, But It
Is Still So Very Nice - To Feel Loved & Appreciated !!

I\'m So Very Happy - You Had A Beautiful Day...

Love Ya, Barbara
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so happy for you and for the reconciliation between you and your son. What a lovely reunion. God is opening up doors and windows of your lives again. Thank you for sharing this poignant story of joyful reunion with us. The Lord is healing you and your family. May God bless you and your son and his family. Many hugs and love, Carol
zzzjoy
zzzjoy

For some reason I kept expecting you to say, \"And then I woke up from my wonderful dream!\" But this really happened for you and I am rejoicing with you.
Hugs, Joy
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so happy for you both. Made me feel happy just reading it!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m so happy for you both. I\"m glad he gave you the chance to explain your side and let you back into his life. Hugs...Valerie
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hope floats. If you latch onto it, it lifts you up to faith. Once you have Hope and Faith, Charity is inevetible. See how simple it is? But it took me about 13 years of working hard at it to unlock the box. The latch was on the inside, you see. Your happiness and the validation of yourself at this simple development is inspiring to all of us who have depression, and other mental maladies as a result of the wear and tear of relationships and life. Drive on, NDY. There is plenty of pavement on the Road of Happy Destiny!
LeoX3
LeoX3

I am so glad! :-)
April3third
April3third

NDY, I knew none of your background., Thank you for openly sharing this with us. You are a fine and strong strong woman as well as a loving Mom in the true sense.
Hugs and may your son and family keep close to you always.
azuca
azuca

Tears are rolling down my cheeks...this is a wonderful journal....I am so happy for you...
(((((Hugs)))))Thank you for sharing
lynn49
lynn49

I am so Happy for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

This is really good. Yes, God can change things.