IT was WONDERFUL ...
My oldest son, after 23 years of not spending more than 1/2 hr with him, called me on the phone, out of the blue, to ask me to dinner two days later. I told him that I already had plans ( I spend every Saturday with my 2 grand daughters age 7 & 8 & my youngest daughter who works for me as my care giver.) He said that if I wanted to come to dinner with him it would have to be on a Saturday so i should figure out one that i could spend time with him on and call him back then.
When I did call him back he wasn't very hospitable. I mentioned I would love to see his home as I had never seen it before he actually remarked, "What do you want - I am talking to you on the phone aren't I" Needless to say after he dropped that 'attitude remark" I really felt like I was dreading the whole thing.( I actually likened it to the sick feeling I would get in my stomach when I was sent to the principal's office when I was in high school!)
Arrangements were made for that next Saturday. I rearranged some previous plans I had made and made other arrangements for my grand daughters to come at 3pm instead since my son's time together was for lunch.
Anyways the whole family picked me up in their SUV. My son wedged himself in the back seat between his young children's car seats. It is a small SUV. We drove to his HOUSE, sort of,. they live in a beautiful elegant type of townhouse complex. It was a small two-story, 3 bedroom, 2 baths with a finished game room. It was nicely furnished casual Family style perfect for 2 small children and a big Boxer dog named Romeo! (He loves me!)We had a nice lunch.. His wife prepared roast beef lunch meat in a slow cooker with a couple of cans of onion soup. They put it on a long French roll with a nice thick slice of Provolone cheese. We had an icy drink of tea mixed with lemonade. We sat down as a Family - all together at the table. My son at the head, I ws opposite from him. His wife near the kitchen, of course. And my grandson, age 4, to my left with the baby, 11mos, in her high chair by Daddy, who fed her little scraps of meat & cheese.I had a tour of the house with my daughter-in-law. Amazing he married a girl with the same tastes in decorating as me!! (And she is as nice as me too!) When we got to my Grandson's' room - He went nuts! That boy just couldn't get enough of his "new" NaNa !! My grand daughter was a little shy but by the time it was time for me to leave - She had begun to warm up to me! My Ggrandson pounded on his drum set with his drumsticks - You could tell by the look on my daughter-in-law's face that those had to be a gift from someone else!! lolI had an enjoyable stay..Turns out it was nap time for the kids. and Daddy did have to got to work after all. So I felt privileged as he had to work til past midnight the night before. He is a kitchen manager for a restaurant/catering business (Took after his mama - a professional cook & former line chef in Vegas prop to college in the 90s) Previously he had stated that "all plans would be off if he had to cater".In the car on the way home we talked about "everything". And best of all, unlike the rest of my other children, he let me talk also. He talked and as he talked about not having me in his life the tears rolled down his cheeks. I reached over and he let me hold his hand. I told him how I had tried to attend open house at the school and was asked to leave bec my ex had barred me from the school. I told him how my public defender never even mentioned the then available joint custody and only got me gradual partial & that he was too old for me to get visits with through Family Court. I told him when I came back & stole the leisure van & my 3 girls that I couldn't find him or his brother. That they were at soccer & I didn't know.. I told him that I had held out for he & his brother when offered just the custody of the girls. and how his father had tricked me by lying about returning the girls if I let them visit.He told me how his father had to work 3 jobs & was never home in order to care for them all. I pointed out to him that his one main job would have been more than enough money for them to live comfortably - That my ex never did want to be home with them even when I lived there he was never home. he admitted that he had always wondered about that.And, last of all, I apologized for leaving him with the man I couldn't stand to be with bec after it was all said & done, I couldn't get them back. He said that that was the one thing he had wanted to hear bec he could never understand how I could do that to them. I explained to him about postpartum depression and why it had all happened with 7 pregnancies, including delivering a dead embryo and a miscarriage; the death of my mother 3 wks before my babies and the sudden illness & death of my best bud, my father in law, subsequesntly, 6 mos later after the birth of my last child at 40.He apologized to me for being bitter and not continuing our relationship when he came of age. We hugged and cried. and then he had to got to work. After I left the car, he rolled down the window and called out to me And when I turned around he said, "Mom, you're not alone anymore."NDY
When I did call him back he wasn't very hospitable. I mentioned I would love to see his home as I had never seen it before he actually remarked, "What do you want - I am talking to you on the phone aren't I" Needless to say after he dropped that 'attitude remark" I really felt like I was dreading the whole thing.( I actually likened it to the sick feeling I would get in my stomach when I was sent to the principal's office when I was in high school!)
Arrangements were made for that next Saturday. I rearranged some previous plans I had made and made other arrangements for my grand daughters to come at 3pm instead since my son's time together was for lunch.
Anyways the whole family picked me up in their SUV. My son wedged himself in the back seat between his young children's car seats. It is a small SUV. We drove to his HOUSE, sort of,. they live in a beautiful elegant type of townhouse complex. It was a small two-story, 3 bedroom, 2 baths with a finished game room. It was nicely furnished casual Family style perfect for 2 small children and a big Boxer dog named Romeo! (He loves me!)We had a nice lunch.. His wife prepared roast beef lunch meat in a slow cooker with a couple of cans of onion soup. They put it on a long French roll with a nice thick slice of Provolone cheese. We had an icy drink of tea mixed with lemonade. We sat down as a Family - all together at the table. My son at the head, I ws opposite from him. His wife near the kitchen, of course. And my grandson, age 4, to my left with the baby, 11mos, in her high chair by Daddy, who fed her little scraps of meat & cheese.I had a tour of the house with my daughter-in-law. Amazing he married a girl with the same tastes in decorating as me!! (And she is as nice as me too!) When we got to my Grandson's' room - He went nuts! That boy just couldn't get enough of his "new" NaNa !! My grand daughter was a little shy but by the time it was time for me to leave - She had begun to warm up to me! My Ggrandson pounded on his drum set with his drumsticks - You could tell by the look on my daughter-in-law's face that those had to be a gift from someone else!! lolI had an enjoyable stay..Turns out it was nap time for the kids. and Daddy did have to got to work after all. So I felt privileged as he had to work til past midnight the night before. He is a kitchen manager for a restaurant/catering business (Took after his mama - a professional cook & former line chef in Vegas prop to college in the 90s) Previously he had stated that "all plans would be off if he had to cater".In the car on the way home we talked about "everything". And best of all, unlike the rest of my other children, he let me talk also. He talked and as he talked about not having me in his life the tears rolled down his cheeks. I reached over and he let me hold his hand. I told him how I had tried to attend open house at the school and was asked to leave bec my ex had barred me from the school. I told him how my public defender never even mentioned the then available joint custody and only got me gradual partial & that he was too old for me to get visits with through Family Court. I told him when I came back & stole the leisure van & my 3 girls that I couldn't find him or his brother. That they were at soccer & I didn't know.. I told him that I had held out for he & his brother when offered just the custody of the girls. and how his father had tricked me by lying about returning the girls if I let them visit.He told me how his father had to work 3 jobs & was never home in order to care for them all. I pointed out to him that his one main job would have been more than enough money for them to live comfortably - That my ex never did want to be home with them even when I lived there he was never home. he admitted that he had always wondered about that.And, last of all, I apologized for leaving him with the man I couldn't stand to be with bec after it was all said & done, I couldn't get them back. He said that that was the one thing he had wanted to hear bec he could never understand how I could do that to them. I explained to him about postpartum depression and why it had all happened with 7 pregnancies, including delivering a dead embryo and a miscarriage; the death of my mother 3 wks before my babies and the sudden illness & death of my best bud, my father in law, subsequesntly, 6 mos later after the birth of my last child at 40.He apologized to me for being bitter and not continuing our relationship when he came of age. We hugged and cried. and then he had to got to work. After I left the car, he rolled down the window and called out to me And when I turned around he said, "Mom, you're not alone anymore."NDY
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