It Started in the Womb
My PTSD had been set up in the womb. My mother had been molested and abused, thus setting off that chemical that passed on to me and my two sisters, both of whom have eating disorders. I went to chemical and alcohol addiction early on in life.
My father left for Korea 3 weeks after impregnating Mom, and never believed I was his child (even to this day). So, the letters and heated exchanges between them was felt while I was developing, as Mom had lots of sadness trying to prepare for a third, unexpected child 4 years after she'd had her 2nd daughter.
From the time I can remember, the only things I can mostly recall are painful times. So many, they would be too numerous to relate here. The telling tale in that is that I do not remember too many happy times as a child. There are some, but are overshadowed greatly by the traumas.
Traumas continued throughout my life, and continue to. I'm finally with a great Trauma Therapist, yet I fear it is too late for me. I am hoping to find some peace here. Also hoping to find some way to become interested in life again.
My father left for Korea 3 weeks after impregnating Mom, and never believed I was his child (even to this day). So, the letters and heated exchanges between them was felt while I was developing, as Mom had lots of sadness trying to prepare for a third, unexpected child 4 years after she'd had her 2nd daughter.
From the time I can remember, the only things I can mostly recall are painful times. So many, they would be too numerous to relate here. The telling tale in that is that I do not remember too many happy times as a child. There are some, but are overshadowed greatly by the traumas.
Traumas continued throughout my life, and continue to. I'm finally with a great Trauma Therapist, yet I fear it is too late for me. I am hoping to find some peace here. Also hoping to find some way to become interested in life again.
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