It Shouldn't Come As A Surprise
Just as for Thanksgiving, my mom is adamant about not doing anything to celebrate Christmas.
I'm aware that everyone processes grief in their own way and own time line, BUT!.....
this is something I've dealt with for years, many years before Dad got sick even. For them, it was easier to send money than plan a get-together for the 4 of us. Our family unit was broken up years before when tv took over their lives. My parents came to visit me a total of 4 times since 1992 until 2013 when Dad became too ill to be in a vehicle for more than short distances. I was always treated formally as a guest whenever I was allowed to come and visit. Later, as Dad became more ill, I was able to visit frequently to help with his care. Now that he's been gone a little over a year, it's back to irregular communication. At what point does it stop being as painful to be shunned by a parent?
I have a brother who hasn't talked to me in years, 2 great aunts, and five second cousins and that's the extent of close relatives from both sides of the family.
Because of helping with Dad's care and a heavy work schedule, friendships dropped out of sight (8 1/2 years is a long time to not be able to be in touch. Some understood. Others didn't.), and my support system isn't as strong or extensive as it once was. At least it isn't nonexistent. Needless to say, there isn't a significant other nor any children.
While it's difficult to navigate the holidays, I want to. There are enjoyable parts that shouldn't be missed <3
I'm aware that everyone processes grief in their own way and own time line, BUT!.....
this is something I've dealt with for years, many years before Dad got sick even. For them, it was easier to send money than plan a get-together for the 4 of us. Our family unit was broken up years before when tv took over their lives. My parents came to visit me a total of 4 times since 1992 until 2013 when Dad became too ill to be in a vehicle for more than short distances. I was always treated formally as a guest whenever I was allowed to come and visit. Later, as Dad became more ill, I was able to visit frequently to help with his care. Now that he's been gone a little over a year, it's back to irregular communication. At what point does it stop being as painful to be shunned by a parent?
I have a brother who hasn't talked to me in years, 2 great aunts, and five second cousins and that's the extent of close relatives from both sides of the family.
Because of helping with Dad's care and a heavy work schedule, friendships dropped out of sight (8 1/2 years is a long time to not be able to be in touch. Some understood. Others didn't.), and my support system isn't as strong or extensive as it once was. At least it isn't nonexistent. Needless to say, there isn't a significant other nor any children.
While it's difficult to navigate the holidays, I want to. There are enjoyable parts that shouldn't be missed <3
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