It\'s Tuesday

Well it's Tuesday.  Drove by his mom and dad's this morning and they are home.  They are either going away for the weekend or not at all since Jayda went back into the hospital.  Darn, I was hoping that if they were gone, he would call me to spend time with him.  Oh well, gives him more time to think about Thursday and the possibility of being together then.  I know that he has been thinking about it.  Why would he have broughten it up Saturday?  I hope that the time we had together also makes him think about what he had with me and what we could have together.  I know I have been on his mind.  Probably not as much as i'd like to be but, it's a start.  I know that he is confused and scared to get into another relationship.  Maybe he feels safe with Rayna because she doesn't want anything relationship wise from him. Just beer and a roll in the sack.  He has to realize that he is worth more than that.  Deep inside there is a beautiful man.  I have seen him and started to feel his presence this weekend.  I know that Spanky wants to get his life together by moving out on his own, getting finances in order, doing things that he has always wanted to do.  I just hope that he is able to do that.  That he is not putting alot of effort into this thing with her.  And wasting his time and money.  He knows that we could have a stable relationship after we worked out on our issues.  He knows that I love him and would do anything in the world for him.  He is the man that I am going to marry for heavens sake.  I hope that I have the opportunity to show him that I can be that strong girl that he had feelings for.  He said that his feelings changed when we split up but did they really change that much or did he start to have stronger feelings for me and couldn't let them out and act on them?  I don't know.  He has to realize that even thru our issues, my love for him never died.  I'm so ready to be committed to him that i could jump out of my skin! I've never wanted so much in my life before.  We are destined to be together- just ask Norma the tarot card reader and my boss Larry.  I'm ready for the rest of my life to begin- and I hope that he wants to begin it with me and make it something good that will last forever!