It\'s the weekend

Well.....here we are at the weekend and I'm feeling a little out of sorts.  I think about my life and where I am.  Wishing there was someone that I could spend Saturday nights with.  How can I make that happen?  Is it in someone else's hands at this time?  I don't have those answers. I was cleaning my email the other day and an old email from T came up...a year to the date of the email.  He wrote me in Italian about how much he loved me and will always love me.  I just sat there at my desk and couldn't move.  Felt pretty numb....When will that feeling and heartache go away?  Thought it did but it still resurfaces.  I'm trying so so hard to move on.  I feel I have come such a long way but there is this sense of no closure and I feel myself compelled to reach out to him....but then I stop myself.  Because I know in my heart if I do, I can so easily go back to where I was before and I just can't go there.  I hope and pray that I can look back on this time and thank God that he led me through this.....