It\'s not often I feel this kind of pain

It seems I'm in physical pain so often that I forget that I can be hurt emotionally too. I mean, I've been through a lot emotionally especially in the past 6 years or so, so why isn't my tolerance for emotional pain as high as that of my physical pain? I was basically shown the door after my doctor's visit today. He has no idea what to do. My X-Rays came back showing that my scoliosis is not where it used to be (used to have two thoracic curves, now I have one thoracic and one lumbar) but isn't severe enough to be causing any of my neurological symptoms. My brain MRI came back negative for MS. My blood work shows no Rheumatoid Arthritis, nutrient deficiencies, STIs, or Lyme's Disease. I don't have diabetes. I do have mild nerve damage in my lower right leg - doesn't explain everything else. I had an EEG test, something to do with the brain responding to the way black and white checkers move on a computer screen, and I have no idea what they were looking for there. After explaining the results of my X-Rays today, my doctor said "we'll just have to wait for something serious to happen before we can figure anything else out." ... ...... Something "serious"? I could explode. I had just told him about the seizure I had last Thursday. He said it was a "grand mal" seizure, and upon explaining to me "petit mal" seizures, I told him about a few very specific times those have happened too. And where was he last fall when I couldn't go to school for three months, his orders?  Where was he when I came in last week saying I was in so much pain that I was even waking up in the middle of the night to vomit? And when I told him I asked an online scoliosis support group about scoliois and neurological symptoms, that someone with NF responded and told to me to check it out. I did, and 100% of my symptoms match NF Type 2. He says: "There's a type 2?" I almost brought him a few journals on NF 2 (case studies, overviews etc) because as a university student, I have access to these online medical journals, but I'm glad I didn't. Would've wasted paper and ink, and it would've insulted him too. No use wasting resources and insulting people if it won't get you anywhere. I give up. I give up on conventional medicine. Again. Wait for something serious to happen. You want me to break my femur or have a heart attack before anything gets done? What else do you want? It honestly pisses me off royally that some doctors can be so good and some can be so bad. Back home, my doctor is very good and persistent. When I had a paralyzed face and other inexplicable symptoms, he tried his hardest to get me to see the right specialist ASAP, which meant going through other doctors and even emerge on the day that specialist was working, but I never made it past anyone else before they simply said I had Bell's Palsy. Meanwhile, I was drugged up and couldn't go to school, couldn't sleep because hey guess what pinched nerves hurt and on top of that I had screaming pain in my ear. He tried and tried but it was the other doctors that I couldn't get past. Finally the appointment with the specialist came up, and after about 5 minutes he said I had Ramsey-Hunt syndrome and gave me a prescription for an anti-viral, which is most effective when you take it within 48 hours of developing shingles but anyway, I got better but not without irreversible nerve damage. My new doctor out here? Such a tool. To a T. Capital T "Tool". All his patients are geriatric with heart failure, senility and arthritis. That should've been a red flag to me. I guess I'm the wrong patient for him. He sent me to a neurologist who is an impersonable tool, which is far worse in my mind because at least my doctor is nice. The Neurologist tested me for a couple things then for MS and when he decided I didn't have MS but definitely have a neurological problem, sent me back to my doctor. If it's a neurological problem, how is a family doctor supposed to help? I'm so close to switching majors. If my symptoms keep getting worse, there's no way I'll graduate with my music performance degree. I may as well go into molecular biology or something then get into med school and become a doctor myself with a little imagination and lots of compassion for people who get f*@#ed by the system.  *************************** Ok in the span of about 10 minutes, my anger disappeared and now I'm in a good mood. 1. My bf, who has been trying to figure out how to get his belongings off base, just found a free solution to his problem and will be flying away from the army forever on Satuday.2. My roommate knocked on my door and said I had a package. It's a box full of chocolate from my Dad.3. My roommate put the new National Geographic in the bathroom. I've been eager to read it! Ok it's hard to be in a sour mood now :P