It\'s hard not to be impatient...

The well guy called me on Friday, at 3:59 pm, to tell me that he still hadn't heard from the adjuster that she had received and reviewed the itemized list he faxed over regarding the work putting in the new well. Even though they have agreed to put in the new well, they haven't authorized the work to begin. Since the adjuster goes home at 4:00 pm, there was no way that I could call to check in with her. So, another weekend hauling buckets of water around the place. It's a project just to brush your teeth, never mind washing the dishes or bathing. I did get the girl to bathe, however, using a pan of water she was able to get clean, get her hair washed, and she actually let me brush it. We had a talk with her counselor, and we've decided to make a list of behavior that is not acceptable - and the girl demonstrated some of that behavior in front of her. Whenever she doesn't want to do something that I ask her to do, she starts with the insults and put downs, such as saying that "I am an ugly old person with sheep hair" and stubbornly stating that it is her body and if she doesn't want to wash it, or brush her hair, that should be up to her. I told the counselor that this was mild, compared to some of the things she says and does at home, but is exactly what I'm talking about. I need to make that attitude stop and get the girl to accept that not only is she going to have people telling her what to do all her life, but some of the things I'm telling her to do are things that it is normal for people to do; like brush her hair and wash up. The worst behavior, I think, is when I punish her (by denying her some priveledge). If she's had a good week, for instance, I let her stay up and watch tv on the sofa and even sleep there. If she hasn't had a good week her "couch sleeping priviledges" are suspended, and I usually have more than an hour's fight with her to get her to go to sleep. She screams, jumps on me, says horrible things, and is a general pain in the you-know-what until she finally gives in. The counselor told me that it is vital that I don't give in, and I usually don't - but it is tempting to give in just to make it stop. But then, that is the point, really. She tries to get her own way by being so intollerable that I'll give in just to stop. I feel morally obligated to stick to my guns, no matter how tiring, because that is behavior that should have been nipped in the bud when she was about 3 years old, and never was.  I remember when she was 3 years old, and I was sitting on a chair (the only clean spot in my daughter's kitchen) and she walked into the kitchen and hauled off and slapped me across the face as hard as she could - for no apparent reason. Worst still, her mother did nothing to address that behavior. By the time she was supposed to be ready for kindergarden, she wasn't - they sent her home after only one day. She wasn't toilet trained and had no idea how to get along with the other kids. Well, she's learned more social skills and has made some friends, but personal grooming and respectful behavior are really essential if she's going to make the next step and mature to the level that she should be at at 10 years old. So, here we are - with a clean girl with shiny, unsnarled hair and a better disposition - for a day, at least. If I can have more days like yesterday with her, then we can get over this hump and maybe, maybe I won't be so exhausted at the end of it. TTFN