It's getting real again

I started my stims today for our first "true" IVF cycle.  So many emotions have come with this cycle.  Our last IVF in May was a converted cycle, so it was all such a whirlwind experience and I felt so new to IF in general.  Looking back, it was only our third month with injections and I had such a positive, naive outlook on the whole process.  Now, 8 months, a BFP ending with the worst heartbreak ever, 3 failed iui's and a month to contemplate IVF later....I feel like I know too much!  The first time I wasn't afraid of OHSS because I didn't even know it existed!  I didn't think that after the ER I would be all CO2 bloated, nauseous and live in yogas for the next two weeks. Back then, I didn't even give IVF failure a second thought because in my mind, it was a sure thing and never in a million years did I think that 10 wonderful weeks of pregnancy could cause our worlds to crash down around us when we heard the baby had no more heartbeat.  These are all this things I was thinking about as I gave myself my second injection of the day tonight... well I was also was thinking that I am starting to feel like a human pin cushion!
Don't get me wrong, we are so incredibly grateful for the science available to us and I remain extremely hopeful, but like I said, I just know too much now.
I guess that I am going to have to find some good relaxation techniques for the next few weeks to get me through this sanely without making my cortisol levels sky high!