It's coming to an end

My hubby and I went to "bond" yesterday in Orlando. It was such a range of emotion. I have really been in a bad place lately. It spills over in your marriage. There has been so much hurt, resentment, and plain craziness! We were up and down! Sitting in the Ross parking lot with tears and frustration! He wants to be here but I push him away because of my fears and frustration of infertility. I was to the point where I was talked out!! I was like look, let's just truly put this in God's hands and be done!! I HAVE TO FOCUS on positivity! This negativity is bringing me down! We came home and this morning I prayed that God would just bring me peace. I am done worrying about our relationship and trying to fix it, I am tired! I felt such an abundance of God's peace in my heart. I purposely focused my mind on all the positives in my life! God has blessed me with about 5,000 through my teaching awards, retro pay, and just got blessed with a summer job in which I'll make 4,000 in six weeks!! So I have so much to be thankful for! I am so happy that leaning on God can help me tap into his peace when I feel so overwhelmed! Prayerfully, I will be beginning IVF this summer! JOY IS COMING!! It feels like the storm gets worse, but then the sun shines! I can see the light!!