It's been a year
Today is the one year anniversary since my dad passed away - I'm sad and upset at myself at the same time. When my dad passed away mt stbx and me were already having problems - he went to the funeral and he was with me through that difficult time. I feel guilty cause I feel like I didnt mourn my father like I should, I was so focus on my own pain and hurt, how to save my marriage. Even know a year later, my failed marriage, my stbx and all this feelings and emotions cloud my mind and the pain of loosing my father is right next to the pain of loosing the life I had, the life I knew, I'm grieving and mourning my own loss. Arghhhhhh - just want this feelings to just go away and feel "normal" again.
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It\'s been a few months since my grandmother passed she meant the world to me. During this time I had no idea I had issues in my marriage. I found out shortly after and I too feel like I am greiving both deaths. My H pretended he was supportive while doing what he wanted and that kills me. Hang on and I will be thinking about you today.
I can totally relate. Just know that this is normal human behavior. My dad passed away in 2008 & i too feel as though i was selfish w/ the grieving process. Again, it is normal. Humans can be selfish. Just dont beat yourself up about it. I dont think your dad would want that. Everyone grieves at different times.
sorry you are feeling this pain. but don\'t ignore it or try to push it away. you need to feel these feelings and get through them so that you can get better. i think of you often. hope you get to feeling better soon :}
Thanks, thanks, thanks!!!!! You guys are great. My friends and family don\'t understand the pain we go through.
@ amethyst - yes it does feels like I\'m grieving 2 deaths
@ gil - that is exactly how I feel, you nailed right in the head - I feel selfish for feeling my pain - you are right - my dad wanted for me to be happy and even before he died he told me he didnt want to see his daughter crying.
@ memory - thanks!!!! Also hope things get better!!
I\'m sorry for your loss.
All too often, all of the feelings get combined and it\'s so hard to separate the different situations and grieve for each one individually. For your dad, pick a happy moment, think about it, write how it makes you feel, and that will give you a moment of calm.
When relationships are in upheaval, it\'s often in the midst of a life-changing event where true inner feelings are brought to the surface.
Best wishes to you, and everyone who faces this challenge, and hope you feel better soon!